Pure-sue \ pər-ˈsü , -ˈsyü \

II

II.

"Can we talk?" I pulled Lex's arm so that he may stop.

Gist has already left. We agreed to meet tomorrow to continue searching for Anima since its almost midnight. We didnt even noticed how late it is already.

Lex shrugged my hands off. That was a sign that he doesnt want to talk.

Welp, what's with this sudden coldness?!

Im starting to get annoyed and irritated at him. I clenched my fist to calm myself...but---

I couldnt contain it anymore!

"What's with you Lex!?" I shouted. "What was that? What's with this rude and cold attitude?"

He looked at me with an expressionless face

Ugh! My chest hurts as I try to control my anger.

"Com'on say something!" I hissed.

I really dont know why Im getting hyped over this thing. The fact that Lex wouldnt even give me a damn word, its frustrating me!

He sighed. Harshly at that.

"Okay, what are we gonna talk?" He muttered.

"What's your problem really?" I huffed. "You are not like this. What's happening to you?"

"What?" His brows almost meet. "I am me, as always!" He hissed. His pitch is geting high at that.

"No! You weren't like that! You weren't that rude to someone. YES, YOU MAY BE COLD BEFORE BUT NEVER RUDE!" I tried to give emphasis on that hoping it gets him.

"So, you mean you know me now more than I know myself?" Ahh...that was a sarcasm. Yes, he's giving me that!

"I dont intend it that way!" I just---

"Just what?" He cut me at that. His voice is almost shouting.

I was shocked.

"You know what, this isnt going anywhere. Let's just stop" he huffed.

I tried not to cry out of embarrassment. Com'on Psy, hold your tears. Dont get it in to you. I tried to calm, but my eyes didnt even listen to my plea.

"I was just...I mean, I just wanted to tell you that...my voice started to crack, that... you have been rude to Mr. Carnis." I bowed so that he doesnt see my teary eyes.

"Com'on Psy! You cant even tell? Mr. Carnis is delusional! He is a psycho! Wake up Psy! You are not blind and neither a dumb!" He shouted.

I just got hit by that. Totally painful and unpleasant to hear.

"Dont say that" I mumbled.

"Say what? That he is delusional?" He hissed

"If there is someone who is delusional, IT IS YOU LEX! YOU ARE DELUSIONAL! You and your delusion, its creeping me out but...my voice slowly shrink at that...but, I have accepted that. I have accepted you! And now I cried.

"What do you mean?" Lex confusedly asked.

I looked at him, guilty af...but there's no turning back.

"Sophia---" I dont know if I have to continue this. This hurts me to say.

"What!" He shouted. His face is already inexplicably angry.

"Sophia isnt real!" I cried really hard at that. I know its painful but he needs to hear it now. "She isnt real, Lex!" I sobbed.

"Wh--a-...no!" His face, as confusedly as he was, turned red.

He tried to deny it.

"No! That was a lie. Tell me that, that is only a lie!" He mumbled.

"Sophia is real. She was and she is real. I can hug her. I can touch her. She's real." He started to cry.

"No! She really is real! I dont believe you! Why would you tell me that lie?" He held my shoulders, begging me...

It hurts me to see him like this. He looks helpless.

He collapsed into his knees..."no! She was the only person who was always there for me. She loves me. I know that! I know she loves me. She is real! Crying so hard at that while trying to make himself believe that Sophia is real.

I hugged him. But he pushed me.

"No! Dont get near me!" He shouted.

"Accept it Lex! She is just an illusion. I am here, I am always here for you. I have accepted you more than I have accepted myself. Lex, I am here. I love you, I always do! I have always loved you in spite of your situation.

I know you love her, and I'm just nothing for you. But...

But---

Can I just be Sophia? Can I just replace her in your heart? Can you just love me instead? Can we just be together?" I pleaded him.

Please...

My tears flowed, my nose is stuffy. My chest is hurting. I am hurting, knowing that I still dont matter to him. That my love, still, doesnt matter to him.

Running out of breath, yet I still cant stop crying.

I sobbed because I cant contain my pain any longer. I sobbed because this is the farthest I could go to him. I sobbed because... I know this might be the last.

"Im sorry Psy..." That was the last statement from Lex before he walked out.

I cant blame him. I have creeped him out.

But--- its still very painful. God, Its really painful!

Geez, I knew this was coming. But--

And I just cried my lungs out, really really hard at that.