Chapter 14
When I was younger, may be that was high school days, I had a dog. A cute dog. Since I was the only child and I seldom see my cousins then, my Dad gave a Pomeranian. It was a light brown breed and it was so small. But she died when I went to college. Nagkasakit. Simula noon ay hindi na ulit ako binigyan at hinayaan ni Dad na mag-alaga ng hayop. It’s not that I couldn’t take good care of it but because of the attachment I had. Sobra akong naattach sa aso kong iyon. I named him Coco and when he left, I cried for days.
May mga araw noon na hindi ako lumalabas ng silid dahil iyak lang ako nang iyak. I even hyperventilated once from too much crying and collapsed. I was hospitalized for a few days. That was one of the days I saw my father cried for me.
“A-Ano ‘yan?”, pigil-hininga kong tanong kay Gino nang magising ako na medyo mataas na ang araw sa umagang iyon. I was still contemplating about the chance Gino was asking. Gusto kong mag-isip at hindi na naman nya ulit ako pinilit. Kababa ko lang nang hagdanan at naabutan ko sya sa salas.
“Don’t you want it?”
I inhaled deeply. Dahan-dahan at maingat akong lumakad kung saan sya nakaupo. Sa kanyang kandungan ay may kalong syang isang maliit na aso.
“Come on, Cresia. Touch it. Hindi ito nangangagat. Kumpleto raw ito sa turok sabi ng binilhan ko”, lumipad sa kanya ang mata ko.
“You bought it? S-Saan?”
“Maaga akong nagising, sumaglit ako sa bayan. I saw this cute little puppy. Ayaw mob a?”, tanong nya ulit.
Inilipat ko ang mata ko sa aso. Nakatingin rin ito sa akin. Parang may kumurot sa puso ko sa paraan ng pagtingin nya sa akin pabalik.
“He’s so cute”, titig na titig ako dito. Nakalabas ang maliit nyang dila at iwinawagayway ang maliit nyang buntot.
Take me, mommy.
It was like I heard him saying. Teka, lalaki ba ito o babae?
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“Lalaki. Nabili na raw kasi ang mga babae at wala na silang available for adoption. Babae baa ng gusto mo?”
Umiling ako. I was near them. They were sitting and I was still standing in my feet. Gusto kong hawakan pero natatakot ako. I remembered Coco.
“Here. You want to carry it?”, malambing na alok ni Gino. Kita ko ang ingat ng pagkakahawak nya sa aso habang iniaabot sa akin ito. Tiningnan ko ulit si Gino. He was not smiling but his expression was softer than normal.
“Baka masaktan ko sya”
Huminga si Gino at tumayo habang karga pa rin ang aso. Lumapit sya sa akin.
“One thing you should know, even if everyone sees you as the tough brat, I will always see the little gentle girl in you. I saw your picture in your room with the same breed of dog”, he held my arm and pulled me to sit on the sofa. He softly landed the small pup on my lap.
Medyo nataranta ako sa ginawa nya at hindi ko alam kung paano hahawakan ang aso.
“P-Paano ‘to. T-Teka lang”, naguguluhan kong sabi. I was panicking because today was the first time I hold a real alive puppy after Coco.
“Hey. Relax. Wag kang malikot baka mahulog sya”, pigil ni Gino ang tuhod ko. He was squatting in front of me. Napatigil ako dahil sa sinabi nya. Baka nga mahulog ang aso.
“Here. Give me your hand”, and I did. He guided my hand on the tiny ball of fur resting on my lap. It was soft. Unti-unti akong kumakalma. Nang masanay ako sa paghaplos noon, binitiwan na ni Gino ang kamay ko at hinayaan ako.
“He’s so beautiful. Ano’ng pangalan nya”, the dog was now yawning sleepily.
“I don’t know. You want to name him?”, nakatingala sya sa akin.
“Ikaw?”
Tumaas ang kilay nya.
“This…”, hinaplos nya rin ang mabalahibong tuta na ngayon ay mahimbing na ang tulog. Nagkamaan ang kamay naming dalawa. He retreated his hand.
“This is a gift for you”
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanya.
“Talaga?! Bakit?”
“I just want to give you something. Para hindi ka mabagot dito. This is yours so you name him”
Napangiti ako sa sinabi nya. Without waking him, I brought him up to my chest and hugged him tenderly. I kissed him. I was still missing Coco. I felt the sides of my eyes burning in tears. It was like he’s here once again.
“Coco…”
“That’s a beautiful name”
Ibinaba ko ulit sya sa kandungan ko.
“Would it be selfish if I name him after my dead pet? Baka gusto nya ng ibang pangalan”
Habang hinahagod ko ang bagong alaga, pinasadahan naman ni Gino ng kanyang kamay ang buhok ko.
“You can name him whatever you want and he will surely love it”
“Talaga?”
“Hmmm”
My heart was overflowing with happiness.
“What if he dies, too?”, isang pangamba ang bumalot na naman sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko ulit mawalan ng alaga.
“I don’t know. Pero huwag mo na munang isipin ‘yan. Focus on him now. Make memories with him”
Tumango ako bilang pagsang-ayon.
“I love him already”, natatawa kong sabi. Natahimik si Gino.
I watched him and he was watching me with those eyes. They were mesmerizing and they made me feel the butterflies again. There were rainbows. They made me feel safe.
I reached for his cheek. He leaned into it as he closed his eyes. Tinakpan ng kamay nya ang kamay kong humahaplos sa balat nya.
“I like seeing you happy, Cresia”, he whispered. It was sincere.
“Really?”
“Really”
Habang pinagmamasdan ko sya ay kinakapa ko ang puso ko kung kaya ko bang pagbigyan sya. I got depressed when Coco died and I am now taking another risk for this new Coco.
“Can you make me happy, Gino?”, I ask him and he opened his eyes. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses nagtama ang mga mata namin.
“I don’t know but please believe me that it’s what I want to do. I want to make you happy. You can tell me how to do it”
I will take a risk. I would probably die if he would hurt me again but I want to try it.
“Then make me happy, Gino”
Nanlaki ang mata nya sa sinabi ko. Nanunubig ang mga mata nya at napayuko sya. Mabilis syang tumayo at niyakap ako.
“Si Coco”, reklamo ko habang natatawa.
“If I know a dog will make you considerate, I should have given you one a long time ago”, he groaned.
I was happy.
And I wish this would be long.
“Baka maipit si Coco, Gino”, pero hindi sya bumitaw. Umayos lang sya ng upo.
“He’s our baby, baby”
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