You Deserve To Be Happy.

[5] Consciousness

Maya

A few days later Maya was doing exercise at the station, when Jack arrives looking at her..

J-"Hey captain, we didn't spoke too much since..it happened.. and I..."

Maya stop him and said

M-"There's nothing to talk about, Jack.
It was a mistake and will not happen again."

J-"Yes, I know that..
I just want give you this.
She really helped me, and when she gets better I think that maybe she could help you too...
Just, think about it.."

Maya start read the businnes card that Jack gave to her.

Dr. Diane Lewis
Seattle fire departement.

Carina

A big pile-up on the M62 kept the entire emergency room occupied.
Carina was called for a pregnant woman with abdominal pain probably caused by the airbag during the impact.
She immediately had an echo to check on the baby.

C-"Your son is fine, but you both need to rest. Will stay here for observation for a few days, but you were really lucky."

Between one consultations and other, she sometimes sent a message to Andrew, because even though he was her stupid little brother, she loved him so much and she was really worried about him.

Maya

After the shift, despite the exercise in the gym and fire calls, for Maya wasn't enough, with many thoughts in her head, she decided to go to run.

When did I become so numb?
When did I lose myself?
All the words that leave my tongue
Feel like they came from someone else
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
When did I become so cold?
When did I become ashamed?
Where's the person that I know?
They must have left
With all my faith
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it's still alive
And it's taking over me where am I?
I wanna feel something, I'm numb inside
But I don't feel nothing, I wonder why
I'm in the race of life and time passed by
Look, I sit back and I watch it
Hands in my pockets
Waves come crashing over me but I just watch 'em
I'm underwater but I feel like I'm on top of it
I'm at the bottom and I don't know what the problem is
I'm in a box
But I'm the one who locked me in
Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed (I'm just so paralyzed)
Where are my feelings? (yeah, I'm just so paralyzed)
I no longer feel things (I have no feelings)
I know I should (oh how come I'm not moving why aren't I moving ay yeah)
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me? (where is the real me, where is the real me?)
I'm lost and it kills me inside (I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed)
I'm paralyzed.

Now breathless Maya arrived home. Instinctively took Jack's businnes card and called the doctor.

M-"Hello Dr. Lewis, it's captain Maya Bishop, station 19.
How are you..?"

Dr.-"Hi captain, I'm fine, thanks...I'm already back to work."

M-"Good, glad to hear that..."

Dr.-"That's not the only reason you called me, right?"

M-"Well, yess..I mean, no.."

Dr.-"We can meet tomorrow in my office at 10:00 a.m. if that's okay for you."

M-"Yes, it's okay.."

Dr.-"See you tomorrow then, captain."

M-"Thank you, see you tomorrow, bye"

Maya take a deep breath.
She was really nervous so took a shower to relax.
While the water was running down her body, the tears starts running down her face.
It's easier to cry like this, when tears can be confused with water.
But the pain is still there, ready to tear you down.