Christian Turners' Upward Fall (BXB)

Hold Me

Noah watched me with curious eyes as I fiddled with my phone waiting for Claire to bang on the door. I gripped the phone tightly as I waited for the pain to seep into the scratches I made along my torso.

Noah fished his phone out of his pocket and stared at it for a moment. Suddenly he was grinning and letting out a short laugh at whatever was on his phone.

He noticed my stare and turned towards me. He stared for a moment and simply studied my face.

"So do you want to explain what happened? Was it my fault somehow?" He asked expectantly.

I couldn't stop the shocked look from appearing on my face.

"Uh no, it wasn't your fault" I whispered. Noah frowned quickly.

"Then what was it?" He snapped right back. I stared down at my hands. My lip slipped between my teeth and I started to chew in distaste. My ears felt clogged with my thoughts.

I have no idea why I flipped out. It could be a panic attack but I don't think I've ever had one before. In the past if I flipped out there was always a legitimate reason. This time I had simply stepped into my bathroom and completely lost it.

Maybe it was my reflection in the mirror that caused it. Maybe it was the innocent white pill bottle that silently mocked me. Maybe it was the bathroom floor that contained so many memories of me heaving and vomiting. Maybe it was the hickeys that littered my chest. Hickeys that didn't come from Samuel. Hickeys that came from Noah. A stranger who I let take my virginity with men.

"I'm not so sure" I said simply. He seemed almost exhausted by my weak answer. He walked over to me and sat across from me at the table.

"Want me to go? You have someone heading over right?" He said almost sweetly. I bit my lip in guilt. I couldn't just kick him out could I? But I also didn't want Claire to see my guilty one night stand. I could imagine Claire's harsh eyes glaring at my face, eyes filled to the brim with hatred and disgust. I didn't want that.

"Yeah...sorry but...could you head out?" I spoke hesitantly. He seemed hurt for just a moment but replaced the dejected look with a grin.

"Hit me up again sometime. See ya" he said casually as he collected his things and headed towards the door.

"Do you have a way to get home?" I shouted after his retreating frame.

"It's something called Uber!" He yelled right back. He sat down to pull on his shoes and opened the door to leave.

I tipped my head back in exhaustion and closed my eyes tightly to try and avoid the pain radiating from my stomach. I heard distant voices from outside my apartment. Was that Claire? And Noah? So much for keeping him hidden. I sighed while my mind drifted to the thought of Claire giving me a disappointed expression.

I heard shuffling from the front door followed by the the door shutting softly.

I heard Claire grunt as she flicked off her shoes. The action was followed by a loud bang, most likely her shoes flying against the wall. She was so haphazard sometimes.

I heard her walk quietly down the hallway. She peaked her head around the corner and raised her, from what I can tell, just recently done eyebrows at me.

She mumbled a greeting and made her way over to me. I couldn't deny this was a little awkward. I mean I've basically been avoiding her for a while.

She walked over and seemed to find interest in everything in the room but myself. She sat across from me and the table. I stared at her and it only took her a moment of staring out my large windows to turn her attention to me, finally.