Christian Turners' Upward Fall (BXB)

Finally Getting Somewhere

I know ya'll have prob been waiting forever for this romance to actually unfold haha sorry I just really like that slow burning type of romance. I promise the romance stuff speeds up a bit soon!

I knew asking Samuel to "hang out" wasn't the same as asking him on a date, but for some reason the prospect of it had me scared shirtless.

Would he think I was asking him out on a date? Would that be a bad thing? What if he says no?

Claire watched me all throughout lunch as I anxiously glared at the schools sorry excuse of a slice of pizza.

James seemed to pick up on my weird mood and didn't interact with me all that much. Honestly I greatly appreciated it.

Claire say across from me next to James and Timothy was seated next to me.

Lunch basically unfolded like this: Claire and James talked quietly to each other all while Claire shot me concerned glances. While Timothy decided his lunch would be best spent  watching lesbian porn on his phone without headphones in.

Timothys hand reached out and pushed my shoulder. I shot him an annoyed glare and he just gave me an innocent look.

"What?" I grumbled. He perked up and shot me a lopsided grin.

"Watch lesbian porn with me" he said. I rolled my eyes and he frowned.

"What's up with you?" He asked curiously.

"Dunno" I mumbled. Timothy pursed his lips in frustration.

"You're so annoying when you get moody like this" he said with a scoff.

My hands unconsciously curled into fists. I focused on the pain my nails gave my sensitive palm. I didn't want to focus on what Timothy said. It hurts when others find your presence unenjoyable.

Suddenly the table was silent. I looked up to find James shooting Timothy a glare and Claire giving me an apologetic look.

"What? Is it something I said?" Timothy asked dumbly. James scoffed and Claire frowned at him.

"You're way to honest" Claire told him.

Honesty. So does that mean their all lying when they say they enjoy my company when I get like this?

"He's an ass sometimes for no reason. He deserved to know what his friends think about him" Timothy said.

My hands curled in even tighter. Fuck this.

I stood up from the table abruptly and they all shot me surprised looks.

"I'll go then. Sorry" I said softly before turning to leave.

"Great. Now look what you've done" I heard James say as I left.

I was out of earshot before I could hear Timothys response.

Claire was right though. Timothy has always been an honest guy. He says what's on his mind. Usually I find that refreshing but when it's aimed towards you it feels a lot less refreshing and just exponentially more depressing.

He's not wrong though. I get into these little funks. Am I so unstable that when bad things occur and I loose my ability to be normal?

One thing happens and my depression decided that this one minor problem will trigger every moody fiber in my being.

I remember this one time this kid asked me why I was acting weird. I told him I was depressed. I don't know. I was feeling vulnerable as he was there. He gave me a weird look and declared "you're not depressed. Depression makes you sad not prissy".