Christian Turners' Upward Fall (BXB)

Work For It

Trigger Warning: A form of self-harm is depicted in this chapter.

"Are you Okay?" Alaric asked softly as his hand brushed through my hair gently.

We were currently laying in bed together cuddling tightly. Alaric was brushing his fingers through my hair as I pressed my face against his naked chest to listen to his heartbeat.

I just hummed softly, refusing to actually answer. He sighed softly but pressed his lips to my forehead.

"You're going to be okay" he whispered to me. I just shook my head rather than speak.

My alarm started to blare through my apartment and I groaned in discomfort.

"No" I mumbled annoyed. Alaric sighed in distaste and turned over on his back so he could shut the alarm off.

"Is that for school?" He asked. I nodded my head. He watched me for a moment then shut the alarm off.

"So...we're skipping?" He offered.

"What do you mean we're?" I asked.

"I'll skip work. We can stay in and mope and eat ice cream" Alaric said with a smile this time. Alaric shifted so we were back in the same position.

His hand found its way back to my hair and massaged my scalp softly. Causing a groan of relaxation to escape my lips. Alaric chuckled softly in response.

"Do you want to talk about Samuel?" He asked.

"Why are you...so good?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"Do you love me?" I whispered. He stiffened beside me but relaxed after a moment.

"Yes. That's why I'm here" he told me.

"But why? How can you hear me talk about Samuel-the person I love- when you love me? Don't you get jealous?" I asked, nuzzling further into his chest.

"Oh trust me, I'm burning with jealousy anytime his name comes up. But I love you more than my stupid jealousy. I love you enough to know that I could do whatever possible to make you happy, but you still won't be happy without Samuel" he said. His voice was soft and held so much love it almost broke me.

"I'm so sorry! I wish that I loved you. You're so perfect and you make me feel worthy. B-but but..." I said with heavy sobs.

"You can't choose who you love" He assured me softly.

"I love you. And that's enough. It's all I need. I just need you to find happiness. Because despite what you believe you deserve something good in life" Alaric said sternly.

"Okay" I said weakly. Alaric sent me a large smile that I didn't deserve to receive.

I could be happy with Samuel. And god knows I will do everything in my power to make Samuel happy.

"Do you think...Samuel could be happy with me?" I asked warily. I couldn't help but be scared of the answer.

"Yes Christian. You underestimate how hard you work. How much effort you put into things. If Samuel is truly a good person he will appreciate your effort and he will love you for it" Alaric told me.

"Hopefully your right" I said.

"Just tell him you love him. Get the hard part over with" Alaric said. Alaric untangled from me and sat up in bed.

"I'll make us breakfast" he told me and stood up to head out of the room.

I mumbled a soft "thank you" as he closed the door.