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"My mind been running wild"
"Stinkabutt whats the matterrr ?" I cooed changing Jersey pamper "Mommy change the booboo baby."
"When India coming back ?" Chyna sat her phone down and sighed.
"She's gone for another 3 days." I told her.
They having them a ball at that damn Bnb.
"I'm so bored. I wanna go to nap with my friends."
"Babygirl." I rubbed her chin "You live here now. Deal with it."
"I know but it's like, Y'all got friends and know people and can go out with people. Me ? I don't know a soul and only can go to Poppy shop and back here and it's boring cause y'all never here."
"I don't have friends. The people who I even consider close associates ain't my friend." I shrugged "I just have Jersey and my babydaddy and y'all."
"Is you and yo babydaddy even together?" She looked at me with a stank face.
"No but then yes. It's like one of those I fuck with you, you fuck with me we ain't together but we is together type jaint. Like ion know how to explain it."
"Well y'all need to get together and stay together because y'all have kids now."
"Kids ?" I jerked my head back "Baby girl, Jersey is my first and LAST baby, Okay ?"
"You only one baby in. You'll have more later on in the future."
"Chyna girllll." I dragged chuckling "Don't make me drag yo ass."
"Girl bye. But no for real tho, You love your babydaddy ?"
"I have love for him." I shrugged "But its not I'm in love with you type shit. Nah. We never even told each other we love each other."
"Y'all been messing with each other this long and never said I love you ?" She leaned in surprised.
I nodded "Yeah. Cause either we arguing about some bitches or a nigga or we just arguing just to argue. We could never be cordial for too long so it's kinda hard to be saying I love you to something like that. Cause what we got is not love. The shit ain't real whatsoever."
"Okay dummy if you knew that it wasn't real, Why you stay with him ? Why you lay down and make this baby ? Why you decided to keep this baby ?"
"Because." I mumbled looking at Jersey "I just feel like nobody loves me because of who I am. Yeah I do too much and I have a serious anger problem but I got feelings too and I express myself through my anger cause I can't be all sappy and stuff because it makes me feel weird. Then being that Poppy was talking about how her kids got her through her tough times, I just wanted to keep my kid because I know my kid gonna love me no matter who I am and what I do. Everybody else can judge me, But I know my kid not gone judge me. Everybody else can stop fucking with me, but I know my kid ain't gone stop fucking with me. I know my kid gone be there with me through it all and just show me unconditional love."
