The frequent lurker

14.✰Secrets

.......
We started to take our drive to the direction of our new destination: his house.
I start to zone out in confused thought made out of a pile of different things in my head as i start a new unexpected overthinking session feeling perplexed at the odd timing.
I get pulled aways from that endless vortex that is my mind to see Jungkook....or hear rather.

A smile goes on my face.
A perfect distraction you are, Jeon Jungkook.
He's not even trying, but his chords still bring out a crystal clear perfectly pitched voice with a note connection effortlessly smoother, softer, sweeter than honey...

Hearing the words he sang undeniably delivered great means to them.
As i sat there focused on him, focused on his voice, it seemed i was looking into all he was feeling, all he had felt, all he had thought.
It's baffling how something so simple such as singing can feel so sincere, so connective.

My heart uncontrollably got pulled into the storm, his emotion filled voice tracing all the way around the wind. It seemed as if all in his heart i could see, i could hear, i could feel.
Why do i see confusion?
Why do i feel a storm?
Why can i hear whimpers of pain, nodes of secrecy?
Why is there strain in his voice?

Those thoughts chose to get pushed out of my head. My mind selected not to pay attention to them. But why. I'm an over thinker right? Why is he different? Why can't i fully read him? Why do i still see fog looking into his eyes?

Yet again those thoughts get pushed away. Jungkook's voice would pull me out of the most severe vortex possible. Why? Because all i look for is him.

As i stop to overthink, he per usual catches me staring.
Jungkook: am i that good?
Me: you're better than you think
Jungkook: in bed?
Me: you motherfucker
He as expected bursts out laughing
.....

Me: you are though!
He chokes on his laughter
Me: not so confident anymore huh, mr i last more than three seconds
Jungkook: you suck
Me: your dick? You wish
Jungkook: we'll se about that when my parents leave.
Me: i don't like repetition

He hums
Jungkook: so no more sex?
I grit my teeth.
The audacity this man has to believe i could keep my hands off him....but
Me: sounds good to me!
Oh why the hell did i say that
Jungkook: well...then, I'll jerk off in front of you. Try keeping your hands to yourself then

Me: you're asking for trouble.
Jungkook: that sounds familiar. My answer is the same as yours: maybe i want trouble.
Me: you horn dog we're going to meet your parents.
Jungkook: as if they don't know know what happens when you come over.
...........
Me: i need to jump out of this car right now.

Jungkook: nooooooooo! I can't live without you
The boy says turning to me pouting
Me: you really go from zero to one hundred Kookie.
I say making him giggle
I turn around once more, somehow sneakily catching a seemingly un permitted glance at him. I smile

Me: I'm not dreaming, am i?
Jungkook bewilderedly scrunches up his nose and lips while still keeping the smile in his eyes.
Jungkook: why would you think you're dreaming, babe?
Me: because you're here. And I'm here with you. And we're together.
Jungkook doesn't turn towards me, in contrast keeps his eyes and head on the road as he begins to pull over.

Me: Jungkook-ah what are you doing?
He doesn't respond. The car stops running. Jungkook now turns towards me his eyes leading full endearment.
His right hand goes on my cheek as he starts to softly speak...
Jungkook: if it's a dream, I don't want you to wake up.
I lower my head as i smile, Jungkook leaning closer and closer to me. He whispers...
Jungkook: that's a bit selfish of me, huh?