The frequent lurker

20.✰I'm sorry...

~Author's pov~
...Y/n: I'm sorry...
She started to sniffle on his chest as she sobbed, his heart shattering to pieces. Jungkook still never moved...he never spoke.
She pulls away and puts her hands on his chest, trying to look into the lost boy's eyes.
He never had the courage to meet her gaze, but she fought against that.
She stayed consistent staring him down, even as she drowned in her own poisonous tears.

He couldn't take it any longer.
The temptation to hug her, kiss her, console her took him over...but still, he stayed consistent to disobeying his heart.
He still doesn't move...though this time, his new-found brittle voice made its way shakily to her ears.
Jungkook: I'm the one who should be sorry...
She stops suppressing and grabs his face pulling it in her direction.

His tears were her most devastating scenery, her shaky voice his most unfortunate melody.
His first desire had now taken him over...
Looking at her features one more, vague time. He pierced her eyes with his, showing unbroken love, his tears showing glimmering fractions of the shattered heart that lied beneath.
Y/n: baby...

Jungkook: don't call me that, please
Y/n: babe...it's not your fault it's really not. I should have never doubted your love. I hurt you. That was my biggest mistake.
Bit by bit her words hit his heart...making him soften. But still, his heart kept telling him he didn't deserve her, at least not anymore...though simultaneously, it screamed her name and shrieked for her touch...

Jungkook: I...in a probably now insignificant way... I did explain...i just didn't have the guts to give you the chance to listen...my explanation changes nothing.
She knew he didn't want to stay parted. She knew he wanted to kiss her just as much as she did... She knew he still loved her just as much as she did. However, she still hesitated as her body pulled her closer to his lips, marrying them into a pain-filled kiss.

Her lips barely grazed his, though she still was able to convey her message. That kiss told him that she still loved him. It told him that she longed for him. It told him that...she went through pain.
That made his breaking point.
Jungkook: you weren't conscious when I did this but... I've already said goodbye to you forever.

Her body detaches from him, powerless.
Y/n: wh-what?
Seeing her drained only accelerated the speed at which his suffering augmented.
Jungkook: I can't keep letting you love me.
She stood there filled with confusion and grief.
Y/n: whether I keep loving you or not is something I decide and trust me, my love for you will be right here...
She said as she signaled at her heart
Y/n:...till the day I die.

He sighs in distress.
Jungkook: Y/n, can't you see I'm destroying you?
Y/n: what's destroying me is you not being there.
The girl said determinedly.
Jungkook: Y/n...
Y/n: WHAT? WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE NOW? ARE YOU GONNA SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME? ARE YOU GONNA SAY YOU DON'T WANNA BE WITH ME? HUH? HOW ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO LEAVE YOU?

Jungkook: Y/N I DON'T DESERVE YOU! I don't deserve to be with you if I put you through pain. I've never done a single thing to deserve you!
Her eyes slightly soften, but the anguish built up in her heart still burned bright
Y/n: you love me. That's all you have to do to deserve me.
The boy loses all strength. He can't fight her anymore.
She cups his cheek as burning tears start sprinting down his face.

Y/n: you love me, right?
He looks straight into her eyes, unable to lie any longer. His head told him to say no...but for once he wanted to follow his heart...so as a response to her question...he nods.
Jungkook: I love you, Y/n.
Y/n: then be with me. Come back to me.
Jungkook: baby, if only it were that simple.
Y/n: it is that simple.
Jungkook: y/n... I have a mental problem that lead me to stalk you for the past three years...

Y/n: wh-what?
He painedly smiles.
Jungkook: when you fainted... I explained all of this to you... I didn't have the courage to do it to your face. Y/n, I was a coward you deserve more than that.
Tears start trailing down her face. She sees everything Jungkook told her as a recorded film in her head. As she speaks her voice shakes.