End Up Here

if you say that you don't feel a thing, if you don't know, let me go

As I'm running back to my dorm, I realize I'm an idiot. I left my keys in Maisy's dorm and I have to go back since I know Lia is out with Luke and I don't want to ruin their night. How the hell am I going to approach her now? My mind is a mess of confusing emotions and I'm sure the last thing she wants to see right now is me, after I just stormed out. 

When I make it back up, I pause at the door. After a few seconds, I timidly knock. It feels like forever before the door starts to open. Once I see Maisy's face, I know that I fucked up. Her eyes are bloodshot and her face is sprinkled with tears. 

"I... I'm so sorry," I begin.

"Why are you here?" Maisy asks, her voice breaking.

"I left my keys." 

Maisy stays silent and lets me in the room. Immediately I see my keys on the couch and grab them. Instead of leaving, I decide to sit down. 

"What are you doing?" she finally says. 

"I just wanna... talk. I'm sorry for storming out. I was just so shocked and didn't know what to say."

She nods slowly, taking in my words. I continue talking. "I'm just in a weird position right now with Calum. And now you. I don't know what's gonna happen when the guys are recording. They're gonna be five hours away. And Calum and I aren't even dating yet. I haven't really had the chance to sit down and sort out my emotions about everything so I'm sorry if I'm rambling. The truth is just that I'm confused."

Maisy looks up at me, eyes still glistening from when she had been crying. "Thanks for explaining. And I'm sorry if I sprung this on you. It's just been eating at me. And seeing you with Calum everyday has been..." She shakes her head, "I'm glad you're happy, but it's hard." 

This time I'm the one who's silent. I wish I could articulate how I was feeling, but I was still unsure. I think back to the coffee and picnic with Calum and the way the light danced in his hair. Then I think of us at the observatory, him calling me Supernova, and how when he kisses me, I feel like I'm in some Y/A rom-com. It's just so perfect. But then I look at the girl in front of me, and I see someone who I haven't even given a chance yet. I don't know if that makes me a bad person, since things are going so fast with Calum. But I do know that I look at her and feel the butterflies in my stomach too. 

"I just need you to tell me for real so I can stop dreaming. Just tell me you don't like me. Then I can get over it."

I look into her eyes. "But I don't know if I can tell you that."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel things for Calum. But I also feel things for you."

Suddenly we were both staring at each other in silence, and I felt like I felt when I was in Calum's dorm. There was something drawing me to her, but it wasn't scary anymore. Slowly, we began to lean in towards each other, and before I knew it, her lips were on mine. I realized then how subconscious my attraction had been. But it was clear to me now. I felt fireworks on every inch of my body. 

When we pulled away, I found myself missing the kiss. We stared at each other in disbelief that we had just done that. 

"So. That happened," I whisper.

"All because you forgot your stupid keys." She cracks a smile.