End Up Here

i felt our hands intertwine, i hear our hearts beating in time

The night ends relatively soon after that, and we all pile in the van and head back to campus. The stench of beer and body odor fills my nose as we sit crammed next to each other for the long ride. The boys talk about the show, but the rest of us are too tired from the day's events to really add much to the conversation. As we're on the freeway, I feel myself doze off and subconsciously lean my head on Calum's shoulder. A few seconds later, he grabs my hand and holds it until we get back to the dorm. 

When I feel him tap my shoulder, I know the horrible news that's coming: we're back, and I have to leave him for the night. We're the last ones out of the van, and before we get out, I say, "Thanks for being so understanding tonight. I'm sorry I was so... terrible."

"Don't worry, I have you and that's all that matters." 

And with that, he leans in for a kiss, pushing back the hair that had fallen in my face. When we pull away, he begins to talk. 

"Do you wanna come over tomorrow to help me finish packing for San Francisco? I don't have much left to do, so we could watch a movie or something?" Calum asks.

"That would be perfect. I'm gonna miss you so much, Cal, I really am."

He doesn't reply. Instead, he grabs my hand and squeezes it. It's such a little thing, but it comforts me so much. 

Michael peeks his head inside the van where we're sitting. "Come on lovebirds, I gotta lock up the van. You can continue your makeout session tomorrow." 

I feel myself blushing, but Calum just laughs it off. We leave the van and say goodbye to each other and I start to walk back to the dorm with Lia. 

In the short walk we have, I realize that I can't be mad at Lia. She knows the secret that could ruin my relationship with Calum. I have to be perfectly nice to her, otherwise, she might let it "slip" about the kiss. 

Once we get in our dorm, I call a roomie meeting.

"I think we have a lot to talk about," I start, as we sit on the couch. "I wanna say that I'm sorry for overreacting tonight. I was obviously shitfaced, and didn't know what I was doing. And I know, that's not an excuse. I don't want anything to get in the way of our friendship, especially not a boy... again."

She laughs. "Thanks for saying that. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I guess I didn't see why it would be a big deal. Also, about you and Maisy... you need to tell me more! I had no idea you guys were even interested in each other."

"Honestly, neither did I. It all sort of happened and now here we are. And I do feel bad about it, since I'm kind of in a thing with Calum. But I don't know, it just felt right at the time."

"Well who do you like more?"

"Duh, Calum!" I say quickly. "Especially after everything he said on stage tonight. That really made me realize what this relationship means to him."

She smiles in excitement. "Well, he better ask you out soon! He's leaving for San Francisco in literally 48 hours!"

"Uh, well, how about Luke? Has he asked you out? Because I'm not sure if you're aware, but he's going away too!"

"Not yet. But I have a feeling it will happen tomorrow. We're going to the beach after he finishes packing."

"Oooh! Cal invited me to 'watch a movie' after he packs, too. I wonder what Evie and Michael are planning."

"Poor Ashton," Lia comments. "He doesn't have anyone to pack with."

"Maybe Maisy will do it out of pity?"

We both look at each other and simultaneously say, "Naaaah."

Once we finish talking, we both get ready for bed. I toss on my pajamas and grab my guitar. I want to finish "End Up Here" as a going away gift for Cal. Lia passes out super fast, and I get in the writing mood. I begin to add more to the verses and even record a few takes on my phone. When I feel like the song is good enough, I realize it is four AM and I was tired as hell. This has been one of the longest days of my life, and I needed to be rested for whatever Calum had planned for the morning.