End Up Here

some things are meant to be secret, and not to be heard

I throw on my leather jacket over a black t-shirt and red button up skirt. Of course, I add my Doc Martens and march to Calum's dorm. I contemplate what I'm going to say to him, wanting to ensure that I communicate everything on my mind. A part of me wants to tell him to fuck off but the passive part of me wants to just keep my feelings inside. I needed to find a happy medium or else this relationship couldn't work.

I knock on the door, knowing that he wouldn't be expecting me, so anyone could answer. Fortunately though, it's Cal who opens the door.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" he questions, a shocked look on his face.

"I... need to talk to you."

"Is everything okay?"

We walk towards the couch and sit down. "You can tell me whatever, nobody else is home."

"Listen, Cal. About last night. There were some... issues that I was kind of afraid to bring up."

Immediately, concern fills his face. "Oh, what is it?"

"Well... you kind of just left me there."

He looks puzzled for a second and then he finally realizes. "Shit. I'll admit that was douchey, but honestly I barely realized. I was so tired after driving back from San Francisco that I just needed sleep. I'm sorry."

I frown. "How can you just forget? Am I really nothing to you?"

"God, don't even suggest that! I really did not mean anything by it. You know how hard I've been working, you heard the demo. I'm an idiot, I will 100% admit that and I apologize for it."

"Well why does Luke have all this time to do this nice shit for Lia? I know you've been working hard, but maybe you should ask some of the other boys to do their fair share."

"I know. I am gonna have a conversation with them as soon as we get back in the van. I value my time with you more than anything and all the work I have to do is jeopardizing it."

I think for a minute about what he's saying. I see where he's coming from, but actions speak louder than words. "I'm willing to keep trying at this, but you really have to show me you care from now on. It's exhausting for me to be the only one trying."

He looks down and nods and grabs my hand. "Do you still have to move into your new dorm?"

"Yeah, but I think I can handle it," I quickly say, not wanting him to be near Maisy.

"Come on, I can help! It's our last night together and I wanna help."

Well shit, I'm backed in a corner. He finally wants to show me he cares, but karma is coming for me. "Fine, if you reallllly wanna spend your last night helping me move, then I guess we'll do it."

---

My new dorm is only a building away from my old one, but carrying all the boxes between makes it feel like miles away. Plus there's the dread of seeing Maisy on the other side. It's our first trip back and forth between buildings, so when I knock on the door, I pray that no one answers. Of course, karma's against me and Maisy is already halfway unpacked, arms crossed and standing in the doorframe.

The last time we spoke was when she called me Nora. This should be fun.

"Hey Nova. Nice to see you and your... boyfriend?"

It's like she knew that would cause an awkward moment.

"Not officially," I grumble back at her.

We push our way in and drop off the boxes we had carried over.

"It's nice that you're rooming with a friend instead of some random person, right Nova?" Calum comments, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yep. She's such a great friend."

Calum senses something is wrong and speaks up. "Ready to go back and get the rest of the boxes?"

"Sure, let's go."

As soon as we get in the hallway and the door shuts behind us, Calum gives me a look. Internally, I panic. Does he already suspect something? I examine his face again and realize there is anger there.

"Are you hiding something from me?"