End Up Here

don't know if you love me or you want dead

Once I change into Calum's flannel, I begin to sober up and gather my thoughts. I still can't believe that Lia and Calum both didn't tell me that they kissed. I don't care if it was just some stupid truth or dare game, it would've been the right thing to do to tell me. They could have at least apologized. It also doesn't help that I confessed to Lia that I had kissed Maisy. Now if I ever made her mad, she could go right to Calum and expose me. It was all a big fat mess. 

After making myself look presentable again, I leave the bathroom and head to the front yard, desperate to breathe in fresh air, and try to forget my night so far. The yard is covered in flood lights and partygoers are strewn all about. I check my phone to see what time it is, and realize that the boys are set to perform any time now. I'm dreading having to sit through their set, but before I can think anymore about it, I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's Evie.

"Hey, do you wanna head up to the front so we can get a better view?"

I gulp. What was I supposed to say? No, because I just threw up on CJ, found out that Calum kissed Lia a month ago, and that I'm having a love affair with your roommate? 

"Sure," is all I can manage. 

As we walk up, the crowd begins to gather around the stage. We push to the front and manage to end up right next to Lia and Maisy. Just my fucking luck. Within a minute, the guys run up on stage and the crowd cheers for them. I look around. It was kind of amazing to see how big of a crowd this was, but I guess I would have to get used to this if I was going to be with Calum. The band is taking off quick. 

"Hey guys, how is everyone tonight?" Luke questions into his microphone. A small cheer ripples.

"I'm Luke and I do vocals and guitar for this band called 5 Seconds of Summer. Don't know if you've heard of us..." An even louder cheer erupts.

"We got my boy Calum on bass. That red headed idiot on the guitar is Michael. And our drum wiz, Ashton. Tonight is our final gig before we head up to San Francisco to record our debut album! We hope you're all ready for some fun tonight, so let's fuckin rock!"

 Ashton taps his drum sticks and the stage explodes into the beginning of "18." Even in my pissed-off state, I can't help but bob my head because I love this song. Everyone around me is dancing, so I feel weird just standing there. I watch Calum as he performs, trying to figure out how he is feeling. His body language tells me that he's not in the best mood. I guess I can understand why. I look over towards Lia and Maisy. They seem less than enthusiastic as well. Great, I ruined everyone's fun. Everyone minus Evie. She's having a grand time ogling at Michael and beaming the whole time. 

The show continues, and the boys perform "Disconnected" and a cover of "Teenage Dream." I realize quickly that that was the song Calum played for me at the picnic. I smile to myself, remembering how perfect that day was. But the memory becomes distorted when I remember everything that has happened since then. I snap out of my thoughts when Calum's voice comes over the speakers.

"I hope all of you have enjoyed the show so far! Unfortunately we only have time for one more song, but it's a brand new one. And it's gonna be on our new album." The crowd claps and he pauses for a second before he continues. "This song is something I worked on for the past few weeks. It's about a relationship and the things I value, like being honest about feelings and really putting another person first."

My heart stops, and I guiltily think about Maisy and how I haven't been honest with him. Yet he thinks I have, and that he's the dishonest one.

"This one's for you, Supernova." And all at once my heart flutters... and breaks. How could I be mad at this goofy, adorable, hardworking guy? Maybe I was overreacting. I have never met anyone like him. He is incredible.

As the song continues, everyone in the crowd begins to turn their phone flashlights on and waves them in the air along to the beat. In the midst of the second verse, I lock eyes with Calum, and suddenly it's just us in the yard. I forget about the horrible night I just had, and think of only one thing- how badly I want him.