Student x Teacher - Boy x Boy (Completed)

Keeping My Happiness A Secret

I bite my lip as I sit at the dining table. Hiroshi and Violet ease the tension by giving me a calm and gentle look. I hold my hands together under the table and shift in my seat a little.

My hands tighten together, my knuckles tuning white. I have to think of an easy way to answer them. It is hard to think when under pressure. They are looking at me, waiting. I know Violet told me to relax but that isn’t an option. I don’t often talk to them and when I do it is a brief talk. I know I’m over thinking and reacting but I can’t help it. I don’t want to get in trouble and I don’t want them to take me away from Akatsuki.

I know I keep saying that I don’t want people getting close or bothering me but since last night when I was in the kitchen with Akatsuki, it’s been hard not to think of him. My heart beats faster and my cheeks get hot and flushed just thinking or looking at him.

‘I love you Shiro…’

Those sweet words Akatsuki said to me surface my mind. I don’t know what it is but he clings onto a huge forgotten memory of my life; the first years of my life. I want Akatsuki to tell me about them. I want Akatsuki to always be the only one in my life who can hold me. I’m bound to this world with nowhere to go and my only guardian angel is Akatsuki.

I’ve changed so much because of him. He has opened my eyes and has shown me a path I would have never found if I had not of met him. I remember it was only a few weeks ago that I was sitting all by myself under the huge tree near the back of the school and watching everyone silently. Those days may as well be ashes of my life that are burnt away. I am reborn with new opinions and new feelings I’ve never felt before. I can’t even recognise myself anymore. It’s like my whole life was turned upside down and restarted like an hour glass. Once the sand drops down to the bottom you turn it over and it starts again. Akatsuki is the hand that turns the hourglass of my world. The next question is when will I next be turned over? I don’t want it to turn over. It may not change anything but I can’t lose Akatsuki. I just can’t.

“Shiro, you okay?” I snap back to reality by Violet’s soft words. I blink a few times then lick my lips slightly before taking in a deep breath to calm myself. Even if they decide to make me live with them again I can still see Akatsuki at school. I should think of the positive things not the negative.

“Well…” I look down at my lap as I relax my hands. My eyes focused on my fingertips. “I moved into a friend's place. He is kind and he thought I would be happier at school if I lived with him.” I slowly lift my head looking up at them again hoping they’ll understand. I can say much more about Akatsuki but there is no point boring them with my story. They are lovely people; so kind and caring. Hiroshi may not look it but he really is. He has a soft side just like everyone else.

I bite my lip slightly waiting for a reply. Hiroshi and Violet exchanged looks with each other. I can’t read their facial expressions which makes me more nervous. Violet then speaks up.

“So are you truly happy living with him?”

“Y-Yes. Please don’t make me move. I really want to live with him a-and I promise I’ll try and make more friends. Just please don’t make me move out.” I plead with everything in me. I’ve never asked for anything in my life. I used to just go with the flow and accept what I already had without asking for something new. I couldn’t ask for anything else as the only other thing I wanted was my real family. But seven years ago it couldn’t be granted and it still can’t now. No one can bring them back. I have accepted their death but I haven’t accepted on how they died.

I put my hand to my chest and rest it on the locket that is under my school shirt. I clutch at the locket slightly and just look at Hiroshi and Violet, their expressions soft and calm. I see a small smile that turned at the corners of Hiroshi’s lips. Violet smiles more and reaches out over the table and holds her hands out for me to hold. I am a little confused at first then I lower my hand that is on my chest to her hands then my other hand follows. Her fingers wrap around each of my fingers gently. Her hands are soft and fragile. I look into her green eyes waiting, waiting for an answer.