Student x Teacher - Boy x Boy (Completed)

A New Start

It's been a few days since the day Mr Tanazuki came over to return my jumper and text book. I sit in my usual spot at the back of the class room looking out the glass window.

The sun is out today which gives a nice warm welcoming from all the rain that poured down from the heavens over the last few days. I can see the grass is still wet in some places with smaller puddles from yesterday. I've got to say, the colder weather is better. I get sunburnt easily so cold weather is better. I also like cool breezes that run through my hair. It’s comforting and I would never miss it. Most people here like the hot weather.  I guess it’s because they get to play out in the sun or go to the beach.

I don’t remember ever seeing much sun when I was younger. All I remember is that the sky was mostly grey and the world before me was white. It’s hard to remember anything but I have fragments which come and go.

I haven't spoken a word since Mr Tanazuki came over. My facial expression remaines emotionless. People see me as apathetic but I don't care. I'm not cold hearted but why should I have to waste my time trying to make other people happy.

My life is never boring but it is slow most times. If I don't think about anything I just daze off just looking at the scenery. It's like my worries disappear for a short while.

Lunch time came and everyone leaves the room. I am last out packing my things into my shoulder bag when Mr Tanazuki called me over to him.

What do I do now? I don't want to talk to him. I don’t want to talk to anyone.

I stop in my tracks with my bag strap over my shoulder and my black jacket in my arm. I don't glance over at him. I let out a long breath silently then I walk over to him with my head down.

"Can you please take a seat? I promise not to be too long talking as I'm sure you want to go eat." Mr Tanazuki is sitting at the front desk with his chair facing the table. He tells me to sit down at the table infront of him with a gesture. He has a black and grey tartan vest over a white long sleeved shirt. His fringe, brushed off to the side neatly today.

I sit down in the seat and put my bag on the ground beside me. "Shiro, I know talking isn't your thing but I want to help. I can see straight through that emotionless face. I've studied facial expressions when I was younger. I want to be of help to you. Please consider listening Shiro."

I stay silent with my head down as Mr Tanazuki is talking. I can't believe he is at it again....trying to make me talk and get close. The anger inside me is bottling up and ready to explode like a volcano.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat trying not to show my irritation. There is silence for a brief moment. An awkward silence. I wonder what he has in mind for me.

"If you're hurt on the inside, it's okay to tell people how you feel. You're not pressured to keep it all to yourself you know. Lots of people care about you. I care about you Shiro." His blue eyes are piercing me. Everything he is saying makes me want to scream at him but my lips won't move. They are stuck with an invisible seal which cannot be removed so easily.

I shift in my seat again getting agitated. My hands are below the table and are clenching tightly. My breathing speeds up a little then...."Stop!! Just stop!" I stand up as both the palm of my hands smack down on the table. The chair I was sitting in flings back and falls on its side. I tremble realizing I just yelled angrily at my teacher.

My voice just yelled out without warning. My eyes widen a little, shocked I actually yelled. Am I showing true colours or did I release stress? I don’t know which one it is but I surely surprised not just myself but Mr Tanazuki.

He is stunned. I don't think he was ready for what I came out with. He hesitates before he speaks again. He becomes calm and bites his lip slightly.

"Shiro...It's okay. I'm sorry." He goes to hold my hand but without thinking I smack it away. My hand starts shaking. Tears form in the corner of my eyes. Am I scared?

"Don't touch me! You don't know anything!" Those tears start streaming down my cheeks. All my emotions mix and come out as angry but upset. I can't take it anymore. Mr Tanazuki is the first person to ever make me feel so angry. Why do I even feel this way? There have been many students who have done almost the same thing but Mr Tanazuki…he can’t be that different but it’s like my body is protecting me from something.

It doesn’t make sense to get only angry at him I mean I’m one hundred percent sure we haven’t met. We can’t have otherwise I would of recognised him by now wouldn’t I? Well in any words I don’t need him telling me what to do even if it isn’t an order. Requests and orders are basically the same. Either way you are still being asked to do something.

I grab my bag from the ground and run out the classroom before Mr Tanazuki could even have the chance to stop me. I can hear Mr Tanazuki call for me to come back but I ignore it and keep running. I wipe my face from the never ending tears that burn my cheeks. Mr Tanazuki did it. He pushed and pushed and I ended up responding like that. It's his entire fault!

I run down the hall of the building looking for a place I can hide myself away without anyone bothering me. I am not going to go back to class after lunch. I can't...not in this state at least.

All the other students are out on the courtyard at the front of the school. At lunch there are not enough teachers to look after the students for the back fields so that’s a good place to hide.

I run down the stairs and out the doors. What feels like a few minutes later I find myself behind a shed near the back of the school. No one will find me here. It’s completely out of sight from the rest of the school. I’ve never had to go hide here but I’ve always thought about it if I need to. I just hope no one saw me.

My bag slides off my shoulder and onto the grass. I pant, feeling exhausted from running all the way here. I don’t usually have a lot of energy as I don’t play sport.

I sit down on the ground and lean against the metal shed. I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face away. I so badly want to cry aloud but I just can’t. The tears dampen the ends of my sleeves as I wipe my eyes. I'm sure that my eyes and cheeks are red and swollen by now.

"I want them back...." I mumbl to myself sniffing as my nose is runny. "I want...my family..."