My Philophobia G.D.

34

"let's go" Jack says "can you sing the song you wrote for me when I was in the hospital again?" he asks as I take his little hand in mine.

"yeah, of course" I smile at him.

Jack brushes his teeth, wears his pijamas and goes under the blankets.
"come under the blankets with me" he pleases.

I do what he says and I start singing the song as I play with his hair.
After a couple of minutes his eyes start closing and he finally falls asleep.
I don't move and keep on playing with his hair.
Suddenly I hear the door of the room opening, reaviling Grayson behind it.
I smile at him.

"is he sleeping?" he wishpers as he walks near me and Jack.
"yeah" I simply answer.
"he's so cute" he replays.

I get out from under the blankets and take Grays hand, walking outside.

"do you want me to drive him to school tomorrow?" he asks while we sit on the sofa in front of Kylie.
"no, don't worry. I'll do it" I smile.

"are you working tomorrow?" I look at Kylie.
"no, I actually have to go at the university" she cries.
"oh, I'm sorry" I joke "I have to deliver the research I did to McCarter"
" I can give it to him tomorrow. I have a class with him"
"yeah, thank you"

Grayson looks at me smiling.
"I'll leave you guys alone" Kylie says standing up and walking towards the stairs "goodnight love birds"
"goodnight" I say back "I'll leave the sheets with the research on your desk later"
"okay, see you tomorrow"

Grayson moves my hair behind my ear while looking at me.
"what if we get ready to go to bed too? We can watch the TV if we can't sleep"
"yeah, that's fine by me" he looks at me still playing with my long hair.

We get up and Gray waits for me near the sofa while I switch the lights off. I walk near him and he holds my hand.
We get into my bedroom, Grayson takes his shirt off and wears his pijama pants.
He sits on the bed with his legs crossed.
" I'll go pee and I'll be right back" I say walking into the bathroom.

I get out of the bathroom and Gray is still on the bed with his phone between his hands.
Whe he hears the door of the bathroom closing he looks up St me and turns off his phone,leavinf it on the bed behind him.
I kneel on the bed in front of him and look at him.

"what do you want to do?" I ask resting the palms of my hands on my thigh.
"talk" he says placing his hands on my legs and bringing them behind his back.
"about what?" I ask looking into his hazel eyes.
"taking a trip" he rises his eyebrows, smiling "I've been thinking that I want to go on a trip with you, being able to see you every morning and everynight"
"that wuold be amazing" I say playing with his facial hair.
" I was checking some flights and if you want to we can leave in three days"
"where?" I ask getting closer to his chest and placing a kiss on it.
"Bora Bora?" he says, more like questioning.
"uh? That's litteraly living a dream"
"do you want to come with me?" he asks.
"I wuold love to Gray, but it wuold be really expansive"
"don't worry about it, I got it" he says kind of looking at me with adoring eyes and playing with the tips of my hair.
"no Gray, that's too much" I say rising my eyebrows.
"come on Hailee. I was the one thinking about this. Please come with me"
"what about Ethan? The weekly videos?"
"we'll figure that out, don't worry"
" Jack? I have to make sure that Kylie or Noah can look after him"
"okay, maybe talk to them, if they can't than he'll come with us"
"are you sure you want to spend so much money?"
"stop worrying about it." he caresses my cheek.

I close the gap between us and kiss him.
He cups my face in his hands and kisses me passionately. He takes my thighs from behind his hips and makes me fall on my back on the bed. I place my hands behind his neck and put his lips close to mune. He kisses me softly and it feels like he wants to taste my lips every minute more.
My fingers sink into his brown and soft hair.

He breaks the kiss and looks at me. His hands are helping him holding his weight up.
"talk to Noah or Kylie as soon as possible. I want to leave"
"I'll talk to them tomorrow" I say.

He sits near me and I stand up, sitting in front of him.
"you look beautiful" he says.
"let's get under the blankets" I smile, kind of shily.
He hugs me and we don't talk.

After a couple of minutes Gray's voice breaks the silence.

"when we'll get back from the trip I'm going to New Jersey"
I look up at him and he sees that I'm confused.
"my dad is sick" he explains.
"what? What happened?"
"two years ago he was diagnosed with stomach cancer" his voice breaks.
"oh my God Grayson" I sit up. My eyes fill with tears.

He looks at the blankets he is playing with.

"I don't think he is going to make it this time" his voice breaks even more but his tears are still in his eyes.
"do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm going to lose my best friend" he places his fingers in the corner of his eyes, trying to stop the tears "when I was 17 we found out that he was sick while we were on tour. The doctors told us that he wouldn't have made it and that he only had 2 weeks left. Me and the rest of my family broke down but my dad kept on fighting and he won against that cancer.
I lost the strength to do what I mostly loved even if my dad was getting better...my only thought was that one day he was going to leave us and I think that that moment is coming. Yesterday my mom texted me and told me that she needed to talk to me because she couldn't keep it for herself anymore.
While I was going to the grocery store I called her and she started crying. She told me that my dad fainted and when they took him to the hospital the doctors told them that a big part of his body is covered by the cancer.
This is the end and I'm afraid of how much he is hurting, of how he is going to go through this and how I am going to accept the fact that he will be gone soon"he says holding his tears "I'm afraid of the process before his death and after it"
"Grayson" I only say with my tears reaching my chin "I'm so sorry"
"me too" he says still not looking at me.

"you need to see your dad Grayson. We can go wherever you want when everything will get better. You need to be with him and don't waste the time he has left for a trip" I say truly believing that he needs to see his dad.
"no, I want to take this week to help myself, not think about the bad things and be strong for when I'll meet him"
"are you sure?" I ask caressing his cheek and his chin.
"yeah, please come with me"
"I will. If that can help you I'll come"

He makes his head fall on my chest and I rest my chin on it.