My Philophobia G.D.

22

He was there.
I think he couldn't understand what was going on. I think I didn't either.

Damn how did I forget his eyes?

I didn't know what to do,say or even how to act. Actually I did know what I had to tell him, but I just didn't know how.

I really wanted to just kiss him and hope he wuold've understood that, but as much as I needed to feel his warm lips on mine, I wasn't feeling to do that.

"Hailee?" he said coming towards me, leaving the music play his notes through his headphones and letting it accompany us,making this moment even more important and beautiful.

But wait,the song...I couldn't hear it clearly but it sounded so familiar.

Than I heard that high note, the one that made me understand that it was my song.
My voice was playing in his phone,in his ears. My music was reminding him of me.
He wanted me to be with him even if I didn't or couldn't remember him.

My Grayson.

"I'm sorry Grayson,I am really sorry!"I said trying to let my words escape my mouth, but not being able to.

"Hailee,are you okay?" he said cupping my face between his big and soft arms.
That was the best feeling ever.
I remembered that.
How did I forget about that beautiful place?
It hurts so much not being able to just let him know how much I missed him. On my way there I thought of all the things that I wanted to tell him.
Tell him how sorry I was for forgettin the person that made me feel so much in just a little. I guess words just dissappeared when I saw his eyes full of world,but a beauitful world.

"Grayson, I don't know how I forgot you.I...I" no Hailee stop, you can't.

"You remember Hailee?"he asked,
seeing his eyes watering all over again.The way his eyes kept on collecting tears made my heart drop. I knew he was happy to see me but somehow I felt that I caused so much pain to him and I wanted those tears to be filled with happines and emotions and not fear and hurt.

"I do Gray,I do..." I said leaving my tears drop "I remember you,I remember your lips,your skin on my skin, your perfume. I just remeber you". He looked at me.

Seconds after I felt what I wanted to feel when I saw him getting up from that bed.

His lips on mine.

Those lips, the ones that felt always like home,from the first time I tasted them. But in that moment, they felt so different, filled with so much more love and desire than ever, that desire to not leave this moment slip through our fingers.
The same desire I always felt.

For the first time I felt Grayson asking my mouth to let his tongue slip through my lips. And our mouths started moving in sync,like they never did. It felt like our bodies and souls belonged perfectly to one another, just like a key belongs to its door lock.

After a couple of minutes we were out of breath and just let our lips split, connecting our forheads, like he still wanted to feel my skin and I wanted to feel his.

"Hailee" he said again for the huderedth time.

"Yeah Grayson, that's my name" I laughed

"I know I said that like a hudered of times, but it fits so good in my mouth and in my mind, that I want it to just stay where it is"he said brushing my bottom lip with his thumb, still looking into my eyes and moving his to my mouth.

"I want to leave it there.Maybe make it live there" I said ,sinkining my fingers through his soft hair.

"If you let me I'll make it your name's home" he said.

I took his head in my hands, making him look into my eyes. "I'll let you"

We stared at each other and my mind came back to reality.

The song I recognised ended and another one started playing. It was another song of mine.

"Grayson?" I said looking at him surprised.

"Yeah?" he answered, kind of worried.

"The songs!"

"I...I only had your voice"he said looking down at his feet "I couldn't feel the sound of your voice like I did before, it was fading and I didn't want it to. Your music...it is just so beautiful, your voice so angelic...I only had that" he said still not looking at me.

"Grayson I, I.."stop it Hailee, you can't say that.It doesn't exist.

"I know this might sound so stupid, I tried to forget you and say to myself that we just knew eachother for some couple of days,even if it was strong enough to feel like it was all my life, and tell myself to leave you behind but I couldn't. I have a playlist on my phone, all of your songs are there,reminding me of you. I started listening to them just in the morning and during the day, than before bed I listened to my favourtie one and switched my phone off, but after a couple of days it became like a drug and I started falling asleep with them. It made me feel less without you..." my eyes started watering and I felt a tear roll down my cheek and slipping through my lips. I stopped him, I put my fingers on his mouth in order to stop his words. I felt so sorry and guilty. He missed me and I didn't even remember him. Why did I forget him?

I know I'm falling for this guy, I just can't let myself believe it. It feels just like a dream ,a fake dream with a true story.

"Wa...wait"I wanted to speak but I was not even able to breath. I took a deep breath,raised my head to look at him "I'm glad you stopped trying to forget me".

"I'm glad I did too Hailee, I am" he said wiping my tears off of my cheeks. They fell like a river.

"What's your favourite song?" I asked him.

"Heart to break" he answered.

Wow, he searched every song,didn't he?

That song was not as succesfull as I wished, one of the most important songs I wrote.

"Can we play it on a stereo?" I asked not looking at him.

"Why? I mean of course" he said.

"It is one of the most important songs that I wrote and you like it the most.I want to remember this moment" I said wallking towords the window that showed the pool outside,under the sunset.

"Of course I can" he got the stereo and started the song, turning up the volume.

The lyrics of the song followed my thoughts.

"You're unresponsive by nature.
Heartbeat as cold as a glacier.
You told me I was your savior.
We used to but up like paper.
So don't let this fire burn out yet.
'Cause we've got a lot to burn.
Don't let this fire burn not yet.
And when the morning comes, can we change our minds?
So we don't have to say that at least we tried..."

I felt Grayson coming behind me, his hands embreced my stomach and I felt his chest on my back, giving me the heat I never felt.