"He's not. You're lying....he cannot be your boyfriend." He mentions shocked and bemused by my revelation .....why is he sounding so exasperated as if he ......he has feelings for me ......no I internally pinch myself for having a thought like this after all that happened that day.
But I need to know this .
" Firstly, he is my boyfriend and why the hell are you so surprised or shall I say shocked knowing it ...... And yeah of course why'd you think I need to lie to you about such a thing."I say through gritted teeth angrily .
" You kissed me that day ....and now you've a fucking boyfriend . Don't you think you moved on really very fast . I didn't know that was just a damn game to you ." He says sarcastically.
After having gone through all that fucking pain of his rejection now not that fucking kiss again ...........he's fucking telling me I kissed him .......
How dare he ? As I gain an idea of what I'm doing I have my hand over his face .....that beautiful face ...,but he's such a son of a bitch how the hell can he say that shit to me breaking me once again . I slap his face hard with all my willingness and rage boiling rage for what he's said to me that day and now.
I can't love this man ... I can't .But I do ...I fucking love him so much .And today I regret meeting him, falling for him and kissing him .... everything all the moments spent with him ......but I'm sure I don't wanna erase those moments from my mind as well as my heart.
"You're such an asshole ....... Fucking bastard . You kissed me ... I except I reciprocated because I fucking thought you liked me .....Do you just go and kiss random girls or was it for me only..... special offer ........after that you regretted it and I was so much broken . It was the first ever kiss of my life ..........it was supposed to be a dream and you......you made it a scary nightmare. You're such a monster Emir .How could you do this to me ? How ? You are heartless .Life is much ......... much more than these one night stands . . .you cannot fucking live your life doing this all the time . Grow up . You disgust me Emir Daniels . And you know what I regret that fucking kiss more than you do . It was someone else's who'd love me unconditionally but my very first kiss was with a complete jerk and I'll never forgive myself for kissing you back . I should've slapped you that day itself but no matter better late than never . Right ?!" I shout at him red with anger and full of disgust for him .
I take a deep breath after my long philosophical and social lecture and run away far away from this man.............. who is not the man of my dreams instead a man from whom I should stay miles away ....far away .
I also don't bother to look at him as he doesn't deserve me .......like I don't deserve him . We're not meant to be together never . I have to stay from him ........he has given pain to me just fucking pain and now I don't want his love either . I'll have to get him out of my heart ,my head and my life . This time I'll not turn to look back .Yes I hate him from now on ......from love to hate in just two weeks and its been a pain in the ass journey.
I cry out loud once I reach the washroom but stop myself as he's not worth it . I'm not rich .....my father is not a big man like his ' but I do have an self esteem which I can't let go for a man who's nothing but my tormentor...yep he makes me go crazy .......crazy in love . You'll have to stop yourself from loving that boy . My subconscious snarks at me. He's so selfish , unbelievable , impossible ............. monster creature .
He just can't break me again and again . I'll not let him accomplish this . . . . . Now not anymore.
I hear muffled voices from the corridor and the door opens a second later.
Oh no. . . . . He's standing there staring me like I've grown three heads . . . . . . .he looks confused and angry . Did I cross my limits . Geez its gonna be so much for me if he says any shit now . I'll not be able to handle anything for today . I've had enough or maybe more than enough .Jesus save me from him . . . . . I cry internally.
" What do you think you're doing here? It's the girls washroom. Don't you have a single innocent bone in your body?" Inside I'm scared but manage to keep my voice sharp .
" Do you even know what have you done just now? Miss Ashley Rose . Do you have any idea?" His tone is full of anger .
I blanch and he steps closer taking small steps . . . . . I back away with every stride of his 'til I am stopped by the sink . Oh Damn it .I feel the urge to be Usain Bolt right now.My subconscious is sitting on a couch waiting with popcorn for the show to start . Fuck her.
" Um m....….. what did I do? Listen, Emir I'm sorry , really sorry ........ I didn't intend to ,.. .. .. it just happened in the heat of the moment . I was so pissed . I apologize. We should stay away from each other . It'll be good for both if we keep a distance ." I suggest warmly sounding desperate and scary from this monster I love ........loved so much .
" I should be the one pissed not you . You've a boyfriend . . . . . Was he your boyfriend when you kissed me ?" He sighs.
" What does it matter to you? It's none of your business ." I snap .
He drags me from where I'm standing and holds me in his arms tightly so much tight that I cry for my breath.My inner godess is elated .
" I can't see you with anyone else . We kissed that day and from then I just keep thinking about you. What're you doing to me ?" He almost sobs .
I release myself from his grip and stand face to face with this boy who is so fucking impossible to understand.
I remember Tessa's line from AFTER ," I'm a moth to his flame and he never hesitates to burn me ."
This is so apt in my situation since I've met this boy who never ceases to amaze me. Never .
And for a minute I imagine my dream to be his girl coming live and true . This time if he does or says some shit I'll not be able to bear or even hear it instead I'll never forgive him and slap him once more. I shudder at the thought of him hurting my feelings once more as this time it'll be all over if he did . How can this be over if it never has been started ?
AN : PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT . ENJOY. THANKS FOR READING.
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Dreams
Fanfiction" Dreams are not those which you see while sleeping Dreams are those which don't let you sleep " This is very rightly said by APJ Abdul Kalam . Girls live in dreams sometimes So this is an attempt to bring to you something you can surely relate...
