Dreams

Chapter Sixteen

I am shattered once again .....by him .  Why he keeps doing this? He could've stopped me from going but he didn't because he has no feeling for me ......he just uses girls for one night and then throw them  away . I don't wish to be one of those girls . I freakin love him .......why can't he love me the same way and we can be together forever .............But this is real life Ashley , it's not a fairy tale . So this dream will always be a dream .
I'm crying till I reach home , storm my way in my room and a few seconds later mom comes .
" What's wrong...dear ? Someone said something ??" She asks worried.
" Mom please leave me alone for sometime . I don't want talk to anyone . Please . " I plead her .
" Okay as you wish but you know I'm there for you always . You can tell me anything and everything . " She studies my expressions but I don't give anything away . Oh mom you'll never understand me never ......no one can actually. My life is a mess . I'm a mess . Everything is fucked up .
I nod and she goes .

The next morning I rush to college and pray he is not there at least for some days or even if he is he shouldn't come in my way or else I'll lose it.

I meet Jessica at the entrance, we greet each other  and we hurry to the class . On the way to the class I don't see him .........maybe he hasn't come  at all......who knows he can do anything he wants . He is the king of his own universe . And I couldn't become his queen .......and will never be able to.
I push these ugly thoughts at the back of my mind and  try to concentrate on studying but I can't . From the day I've met Emir I have no control over my senses , me and myself .......... He has taken away everything  from me in just  three weeks . Its weird  or is it love . Is love weird? I can't stop thinking about him . Oh good god help me !!

One week passes and he's not be seen anywhere around me . I feel so bad . What if he felt bad by what I said but no he hurt me so much . I must not care for him but I do .  .   .   .   .  .
Its Satuday today . A week gone by without seeing Emir . I miss him .
As I'm going home after classes I hear someone call my name and I wish so much............ be it Emir ...please .
But no it's Cole ......why my wish is never taken care of but I can ask Cole of Emir's whereabouts . Yes  and  I don't understand why all of a sudden I'm so excited and so happy.
" Hey  Cole . " I say trying hard to hide my excitement .
" Hey how you doing ? "
" Great . What's the matter why did you stop me . Emir is alright ..... I've not seen him for a week . "  I sound so desperate.  Fuck . Control . Get a grip Ashley . What're you doing ?
" Yeah........ Yeah he's good . He comes and goes when he wishes. You know how he is . "
No I don't .........but I want to , I really want to know him .
" Yeah he's moody . " I add.
" That he is . Well I came to invite you to a party......in Emir's dad's nightclub. " He offers .
" What for? Someone's birthday  party .? " I question.
He laughs . " Oh no we do parties often ........like every weekend . So I thought of inviting you . Will you be there? "
" Um ...... I don't think so . My parents won't allow me . So sorry and thank you for inviting me . " I shrug .
" We'll have a great time . You can convince them . Come on don't be a spoiled sport." 
" Okay if they'll grant me the permission I'll definitely reach. " I wish they will but I know my family they'll never allow me .
" Very good.  See you then.... I'll text you the address." He says.
" Yeah cool but do you have my  phone number ?" I wonder.
" Yeah I have it . Emir gave it to me . "He mentions.
I don't recall giving Emir my phone number. Did I ? Maybe he stalked me .Oh god whats happening. He doesn't want me and then he goes and finds out my number and fucking distributed it to every one . I'm so angry at him . He brings out the worst in me even when he's not near me .
" Oh....okay. Bye . " I hiss through gritted teeth.

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STAY  SAFE.