Dreams

Chapter Thirty - three

   Emir is shaking me and shouting to get me to wake up . I feel anxious and a kind of a heaviness on my chest . It seems as if I'm going to vomit and  the next moment I do so . Hopefully we're outside the car . Thank Jesus .
Emir doesn't run away or like cover his nose or anything because of the smell .
I gain consciousness and try to push him away but he doesn't even bulge a little. Boys and their physique.
" Go away . I don't want you to see me like this . Go . " I murmur .

" No one in this whole world can keep me away from you,not you yourself . Especially in a situation like this . " My stomach lurches and flips  in the best way possible and I feel like vomiting once more . This is what I'd never expected him to say . Oh my gosh.  I need a full one minute to get over this line and the way he said, anyone would believe him , staring directly through my eyes  . But i don't as I know him well enough.

" Tissue ." I demand .

" Yeah. Wait . " He runs to his car and comes back with a tissue box and a water bottle .

I clean my face with both.

" What you had in the morning ? "He asks .

" Nothing . " 

" How do you really manage to be so careless ? Get up . We're going ." He says sternly.

" No no no no , we can't go without  flying  on this . " I gesture to the helicopter  . Yeah.  That was the surprise . I was so shocked . How much money does he have to be able to sponsor a helicopter or does he own it .

" You're such a stubborn little child . Let's  just  go to the hotel on the helicopter. " He smiles .

" Yes good idea . Smart boy ." I say pointing my index finger to his head .

" I know ."

We head to the stairs of the  helicopter . He holds my hand and we climb up. This seems as if we're walking the aisle . Do not go there, Ash . Marriage with Emir seems like a helicopter moving on land . I know this was the silliest example Ever ever given . It starts as soon as we get in .   The noise is so damn loud but it dissolves a little afterwards.

Inquisitive  Ash  mode is  here  . Now.
" Do you own this ? " I can never be quiet .

" No my dad does . I just rented it from him for the big surprise . "

" Why would you rent ? From your dad?"

" Long story ."

" We've got time . If you don't wanna tell , it's okay ."

" My dad and mom are separated . He cheated on her when I was five . My mother married another man but my dear dad is a man whore . Sleeps with a new  girl every night."

" Like you . . . . .shit . I'm so sorry . I couldn't stop myself . So sorry ." How could you say something like this . Ashley . You're insane.

" You're right . Kids learn from their parents . That's what my dad always taught me . " He says agreeing with me.

" Why ? How could he teach you such crazy things ? " I ask .

" I don't know . I've not known this since twenty-one years .Maybe he wanted me to be fucked up just like him . Then I used to enjoy and I never stopped fucking with my life. Every night , drunk like hell , found a girl , slept with her and next morning it was over . My life is so fucked up that no one ever wanted to fix it . "

" Did you try ? Was there someone who wanted to offer you help ?"

" That's enough tell stories for today ." Emir is back .
I rolled my eyes.

" Why can't you be sweet all the time ? You like being hard on others ? Don't you? "

" Yes , I love it . I don't like to share anything with anyone . People take advantages if you trust them more than what they deserve . "

" You can't trust me . Wow . Thank you . "

" I'm talking about people in general . You've read novels . You must be knowing . "
I turn to him and  take his face in my hands . Green eyes locked into brown  eyes. 

" Emir . I know we've just met ,we barely know each other but if it's about trusting , I have full trust in you . I know you also do have faith in me , that's why you've told me so much . Thank you for telling me . " I hug him . I know Emir is fucked up . He's trying to be better for me and I can't neglect that . He's putting a full stop to the drinking , hot girls and all those things i don't want to think about . So if he's trying I will definitely support  him .

" Can I ask you something ? " I ask him .

" Sure ." He smiles .

"Encountering so many girls , you never fell for any or did you ? "

" No there was no one . Some , actually most of the girls were crazy , they excused me of  being their child's father . " He tells me.

" Oh my . Then what did you do  ? "

" Of course they were lying . My lawyer just handled those whores ."

Oh yes I forgot, rich brat . 

" Of course he did . "  I say rolling my eyes .
The pilot tells us we've arrived .  My first helicopter ride , and I'm so glad it was with Emir . So many first's with him . Even if we don't last forever , I'll always cherish these momemts . Everytime I think of my life , I've so many high expectations from myself and everyone around me that sometimes I think I might end up an old maid . I'll never  find the one for me .

Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony and that's why I may end up an old maid . I remember the line from Pride & Prejudice .

Emir takes my hand and leads me down the aisle, no , stairs. I hate marriages, I remind myself .

The hotel is so lavish . He's insanely rich . And I get proof of that every other day . We head inside . The table is booked already . When did he do this ? Maybe someone booked it for him . He knows the name of every other person here . He  must visit frequently here . Maybe with all those sluts of his . I hate this part of me, jealous . We're given a table in the centre of the whole big room . Emir orders food and I glance around , all the people with branded clothes and handbags stumbling around the room .

" Wow the place is exquisite . " I say looking around .

" I know . "

" Do you come here frequently ? You know everyone around here . "

" It's my dad's hotel ."

Of course it is . I'm so dumb , should've guessed it early .

" Oh. " I am speechless again for the hundredth time today .

I think this is the time . I should confess it. My reality, I need to tell him now .
" Emir I ... I want to confess something . "

" Tell me . I'm listening . " He's looking into my eyes intently waiting for the truth . You have to do this now .

" I'm not what you think of me . I. . . I ....I am a janitor's daughter . I'm so so sorry for lying to you all this time . I tried , a million times to tell you but I just couldn't bring myself to  . I really love you and I was afraid of losing you , the only best thing that has ever happened to me . You're the only one who gives me hope , happiness and hell too .  . I'll understand if you don't want us together now . I lied , it was my mistake and  I am so so  so so sorry ."
 
He's gawking at me without blinking and he walks away as soon as I finished .

Finally, this time it's really over.  He didn't even try to understand me .

I put my face in my hands and cry but tears have stopped . Strange. I didn't expect this from him . He could've talked , yelled at me , anything but just walking away , that was really bad .

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STAY SAFE .