Let Me Hear Your Heartbeat

Chapter 36

Rose's P.O.V

After hearing the truth from lorelei's father, i nearly fainted. diko alam na matagal na palang may sakit si lorelei.. how could she hide it from me? how could she hide her broken side from me? shes my bestfriend.. shes like a sister to me.. shes like a family.. doesnt she feel the same way about me? bakit di niya sinabi...

Im so angry at her.. pero mas umaapaw parin yung pag aalala ko sakanya. even the others, they didnt know about lorelei's sickness, si alex lang talaga ang may alam samin.

Kaya pala di siya pumayag kanina nung ginusto ni lorelei na mag hiking?

Bakit di nalang niya pinigilan yung byahe namin? para hindi na natuloy? how could he let lorelei go on a trip when shes sick?

Gulong gulo ako... wala ngang nagsasalita samin, maski yung parents ko hindi nagsasalita habang hinihintay namin si lorelei na gumising. hindi na siya maputla gaya ng kanina, pero halata parin na may sakit siya. ngayon ko nalang rin nahalata na pumayat pala siya.. mas madaling mapagod, hindi gaya noon na mas mabagal siyang mapagod kesa sakin.

I want to ask her a lot of questions when she wakes up, but i couldnt risk her life... baka atakihin siya.. i wouldnt want that to happen..

Her father.. seems so very worried. nakaupo siya sa gilid ni lorelei, nakayuko. si alex naman ay nasa gilid lang, kanina pa tahimik at tulala, mukhang malalim yung iniisip niya ngayon. im still mad at him though for not telling us about lorelei's condition. nung tinanong ko naman siya, he wont talk.

The room is silent its so deafening

Not until lorelei suddenly move, i think shes waking up.

Thank god

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lorelei's P.O.V

The first thing i saw when i woke up is my father sitting beside me while holding my hand. lumapit narin yung iba nung makitang gising na ako, rose on the other hand, hug me while crying like a baby
"Im so worried! please lorelei dont do that again!"

"I wont. sorry, pagod lang siguro----

Humiwalay agad si rose sakin, tinignan niya ako ng masama
"No lying!"

Im guessing they already know the truth..

"Bakit ka ganyan lorelei! sa susunod naman pag inatake ka, sabihin mo!" kahit alam kong nagsusungit ngayon si laureen. i know deep down, shes really just concern about me

"Anak, the doctor said you would be confine---

"Dad.. we talk about this already" tumingin ako sakanya at ngumiti. i laid my free hand at the top of his hands
"I want to be free, i want to live a normal life"

"Pero mas lumala na ang sakit mo ngayon lorelei, hindi ko na hahayaan na mahimatay ka ulit, baka sa susunod ay hindi kana magigising pa, i couldnt risk that possibility lorelei, i couldnt risk losing you.."

Naluha ako dahil sa sinabi ni daddy. ngayon ko lang ulit siya nakitang ganyan... hes so vulnerable.. ngumiti nalang ako at tumango
"Okay daddy.. for you ill do it"

Tumango tango siya
"Just hang on.. ang sabi ng doctor, natrigger ulit yung sakit mo dahil sa stress kaya magiging okay kana ulit pag nagamot ka at naging okay kana"

Easy to say, but hard to do... i wish i could easily remove the pain im dealing with, but sad to say that i just couldnt do it... its my fault anyways..

Nangyari rin ata to dahil para ipamukha sakin na hindi ko deserve na mabuhay ng normal.. its my fault why my mother died, kaya may karapatan ba akong mabuhay?

"Nandito lang kami lorelei, if you need anything, just call us" tito red smiled at me, pati narin si tita. ngumiti lang ako pabalik at tumango

"Dont worry lorelei, palagi ka naman naming bibisitahin" bumaling ako kila chester, they gave me a genuine smile
"Isipin mo nalang na parang mas nauna kang nagbakasyon. you should it the fruits we bought for you, mas mafe-feel mo ang pagbabakasyon mo"

Bakasyon? hmm i dont like my oh so called vacation at this point, but my mind relax a bit at the thought.

This is just a vacation lorelei... you dont need to stress yourself..

Ngumiti nalang ako at tumango
"Thank you.."

They stayed a couple more hours until its already 12, doon na sila nagpaalam na uuwi na, may pasok pa kasi bukas. ang pinagtataka ko lang talaga ay kung bakit kanina pa hindi nagsasalita si alex, he stayed with me but he isnt talking. ano kayang iniisip niya? galit kaya siya sakin?

Damn lorelei, ofcourse he would be angry at you. diba sinabi niyang hindi niya kaya na mawawala ako sakanya? at this rate, i know my sickness will be even more worse at the future, considering how much i couldnt forget about the past.. mas lalo akong mai stress..

Bigla akong nag crave sa ice cream kaya umalis muna si daddy para bilhan ako, habang naghihintay ay diko mapigilan ang tumitig kay alex. parang siya yung may sakit sa expression niya ngayon.
"Alex?" i call out

Ni hindi siya kumibo kaya unti unti akong bumangon sa pagkakahiga, my action actually did get his attention
"Lorelei? magc-cr kaba?"

Nag aalala akong tumingin sakanya
"I wanted to know if youre okay, ako ang nag aalala sayo"

Hindi na siya nagsalita kaya hinayaan ko nalang, but after a few minutes, he called my name
"Lorelei?"

"Yes?"

"Im so scared.."

Unti unting nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. he looks so lost.. para siyang bata ngayon na nawawala, he looks so innocent..

"Im so scared i might lose you.. diko alam na aabot sa ganito.. i thought you will be okay after i heard about your sickness, but im wrong.."

Napakurap ako dahil sa sinabi niya
"W-what do you mean?"

He sigh
"Hindi kita iniwasan noon dahil lang sa nalaman kong aalis kayo, umiwas ako dahil nalaman ko yung sakit mo.. natakot ako.. k-kaya umiwas ako.. pero nung nalaman ko na kasama mo si jin, hindi ako nakapagpigil.. i saw you cried when you walk away. lorelei, your words that day made me realize that i was a jerk for leaving you behind. instead of leaving you, even if i know it will hurt, i decided to fight for you... i decided to help you fix your broken side"

Naiiyak akong tumitig sakanya. tumingin siya sakin pabalik, nung makita niyang umiiyak ako ay nag alala siya, his worried face
"A-are you okay?"

Nakangiti akong tumango. i stretch my arms, signaling him to come and hug me. mukhang na-gets niya naman kasi dahan dahan siyang tumayo at lumapit sakin, he hug me slowly.
"This is my way of saying 'i need you' alex, so if i do this again, please come and hug me, kailangan ko kasi ng energy, my battery is just 10% right now"

I heard his chuckles. hinigpitan niya yung yakap niya kaya natawa narin ako
"30%, wait. mas tumataas na, 40-- 50%"

His embrace is my source. kung wala siya, hindi ako magiging okay.

Mas hinigpitan niya pa yung yakap
"It this enough? 60%? 70%? or 80%"

"Yep, 80% indeed" kumalas ako sa yakap na ipinagtaka niya

"You are not complety charge yet, bakit ka humiwalay?" tanong niya habang nakaupo na dito sa side ko

I lifted my shaky hands as i slowly puts it on his soft cheek. unti unti akong lumapit at hinalikan siya, it lasted for 5 seconds, humiwalay rin ako at ngumiti
"There, im fully charge"

He smiled at my sudden action
"You are a sneaky woman, next time, sabihin mo muna sakin para makahanda ako"

"Not a chance" kinurot ko yung magkabilang pisngi niya
"Next time, gusto kong magulat ka ulit, para naman mapakilig kita"

Natawa na siya sa sinabi ko
"I love you"

Nabigla ako sa sinabi niya pero agad di akong napangiti
"I love you too alex"

I love you soo much..