six years ago - johannie

𝐱𝐯𝐢. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬

SIX YEARS AGO !

𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑥𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛: 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘

⚠️ warning !!

this is a pretty cliché and shitty chapter. please, you are welcome to cringe with me :)

—
john and i were now in my room, sitting on my bed, having another one of those awkward silence sessions when i purposely coughed.

"remember when we were dating?" johnny questioned, breaking the tension between us. "when we always used to hang out at your place?"

i smile at the thought, remembering all the good and happy things we've done together.

"yeah, and i would always sneak you in at night just so we could watch a movie and cuddle." i say as i look at him.

i raised an eyebrow, noticing he wasn't listening to me. his attention was caught on something else. so much for starting the comversation.

"you kept my sweatshirts?" he suddenly spoke as my head shot towards my closet. fuck, i left my closet open. why would i leave my closet open?

i look away from him. "you don't know if that's yours." i tell him.

"i know my own clothes." he says. okay, that was six years ago- "u-uh, i guess i never really got to dispose anything after we graduated." i say. that was a lie, i just really wanted to keep his sweatshirts.

i just had the thought that we would never see each other again. but that thought said think again apparently.

"mhm, sure you do." he looks at me. of course he knows i'm lying. why would it be hanging around in my closet if i were to dispose of it anyway? if i were to 'dispose' it i should've kept it in a box for donation or something.

"what? it's true." i say, not making any eye contact with johnny. "whatever you say." he says as he moved a little bit backward so he could lean on the wall.

"okay, fine. you caught me. i never got the chance to forget you in any way. i love you so much." i admitted. he didn't reply. and at this time, i knew, i fucked up.

he obviously moved on.

silence once again filled the air between us.

"i messed up big time, okay?" he spoke, his hands going through his hair. "you have no idea how much of a mess i was without you being in my arms."

"yeah, i was told." i softly say. "i missed you. i missed us." he paused. "maybe give us another chance?"

"you just got out of a relationship, john. you know i love you and all but i talked with nadia about this one and-" i say before getting interrupted. "yeah, i broke up with nadia because i wanted to get back with you. it was always you who i loved." he spoke. "i never stopped loving you, annie. and i never will."

"john- we talked about this. it just can't work out." i say. "no, we're almost done with studying. things will be different. we're more mature now. we could always go back to our memories when we were dating. when w-we were-"

"look john, i- i don't know. it hurts so much." i stutter, tears forming in my eyes. "annie, i love you so much, i'd risk anything just to be with you. p-please, i know y-you'd do the same for me." his voice was in so much sorrow. he was desperate. "we could forget everything and s-start over."

"johnny, i don't want to get hurt again. what if it happens again? when things don't the go the way they're planned?" i ask. "come on, ann's. what's life without living a little. risk it all. for me. for us. w-we can go somehwere, spend time together, i-i know a way..."

"john-"

"w-we left each other on a bad page. we can fix it. we can fix this, right? yeah, we can fix it."

"johnny-"

"f-forget everything. let's start over. yeah, l-let's have a fresh start-"

"johnny."

"no, wait, we can work through things. we can-"

i. had. enough.

"what don't you get, johnny?" i snapped at him, making him stop and look at me. "look, forget about what happened! it happened six fucking years ago! move on!" i yelled. i started crying. he never replied. instead, i heard him sigh.

i put my knees to my chest and buried my face. i started crying harder. "fine." i hear him say.

i felt my bed move and i look up to see him standing. his eyes were starting to get red as well. "i-i'll wait. i'll wait for you. even if it'll take weeks, months, years even. i-i'll wait until you're ready. i-if that makes you happy." he says. my watch beeps and my phone vibrates, notifications popping up.

'happy new year!'

'i hope this new year treats you well!'

'happy happy new year to the best!'

'oh my god it's 2027.'

fuck it's twelve am.

fireworks start to explode outside. noises and horns tooting around.

i sigh and look back at johnny.

"happy new year, annie. until you're ready, i'll be waiting." johnny says before walking out of my room.

"no, johnny, wait-" i call out. but i was too late. "ne me quitte pas,"

did you cringe with me :)