Never Leave Me

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It was pushing five in the evening when we returned to the Hotel room from our day of research. Angel and Vera were cross-legged on the bed, papers from the binder in two arcs in front of them.

Angel looked up as we came in. "We're hungry." She complained.

"I am famished. There is a local gourmet burger place across the street. Has beer too. Abita, according to the sign. Let's go eat. Now!" Jessica encouraged.

"Abita!" I enthused

"Shall we go over there naked, or get dressed?" Vera asked

"I couldn't care less, except the locals might interrupt the meal with unwanted chatter, so throw on a muumuu or something." I said.

"If I EVER wear a muumuu, you have my permission to kill me." Vera got up, and looked in the closet, pulling out things. "Shirt. Pants. Shoes. Same for you, Angel. Let's go." She tossed the things on to the bed by Angel, who scooped them up and put them on.

Vera barely buttoned up her shirt, and Angel ran a hand inside. "Nice choice. Thank you for the front buttons so I can do this."

"I'm not crazy. I know what you like. Why YOU have front buttons too." Vera replied, and also slipped her hands inside Angel's garment. After a few moments, Vera said "We better go eat before I take you back to bed. To be continued."

Again that glance from Morgan, which I returned with rolled eyes set on medium intensity. She returned a 'Fine. I get it. You don't care' expression that mostly involved her mouth set.

We walked across the street, Vera and Angel arm in arm. I held hands on either side. Since neither Angel or Vera are Vampire, I sub-voiced to Morgan, "It is not that I don't care. It is that I am not jealous or envious. There is a difference."

Morgan gave me a new look than the previous versions, then said in sub-voice "You better never be able to feel that way about Jessica or I, Mister."

Then I understood all the looks. Morgan still processes some things via human perspective. I do as well. We are both recent turns. This is a place I am farther down the road than she is, despite our years of marriage. I stopped dead in my tracks to consider how to even respond to that. Angel glanced back, read me, and said to her love: "They'll catch up."

I looked at Morgan and Jessica. Back and forth, as I considered my words. This is not about filtering them, but about trying to find the impact I need. I went with raw and simple. "I can't live without either of you. You are part of me in scary and real ways. We have been through hell together. We have saved each other's lives. You two are nothing like Angel or Vera to me. I love both of them. Do not get me wrong. However, if Vera or Angel says 'Hey, I found a dude or a chick, or another polycule, and we are taking off for a few decades' I will wish them well, and I will mean it. If Helen said that I would cry and moan and complain forever, but I would live. I would be miserable and wonder what I did wrong, and you two would be miserable because I was, but I would ultimately live. If either of you decided to dump my ass, I can't see a future past that. I care that Vera is happy. That Angel is happy. You are looking at Vera and seeing my Ex, and you are looking at Angel, and seeing someone who needs us and wants us and loves us. She is not married to us. My opinion, even though we voted her in? At this point, she'll never join. Partly because of that: Over there, on the other side of the street, getting our table. Angel is having fun with her newfound joy. Vera is in her thrall because Sirens and Astrals work that way. When they are apart, I warrant you that Vera is going to be confused by the whole thing. I am confident Vera and I are going to have to have a long talk about what happened last night and today. You guys say I can have sex with Vera, I totally will, and you can watch or not. Up to you. If Angel joins US, it's as a matched set now. Angel has her love, and she'll never let her go. They are a two-fer."

Morgan gave all that some consideration and looked across the street with something like a wistful expression. "Gods, I hope it works that way. I truly do. Angel needs something good in her life, and Vera needs someone like Angel in hers whether she knows it or not."

"Agree. But .. A two-fer? MORE women?" Jessica complained.

"Not even counting Denise's plans..." Morgan noted.

"Shit." Jessica said. "We need men! The trend-line says that the gender balance is going to get worse. Helen and Angel may not care but we do. Vera does."

I steered them back to MY point. "No matter what, trends and two-fer's or whatever, neither is you two. This is a Vampire perspective thing, and I have learned it, at least partly. We can love many people in our long lives, and that love is not trivial or to be discounted in any way. At the same time, there is you and there is you, and you two are my everything. I deserve neither of you, but I am going to take both of you. There my hearts: End of soliloquy. Was a soliloquy, but the audience kept demanding more naked men in the play. PS: never leave me."

Morgan returned to the original topic too. "You know me too well, sometimes, my love. Yes. Fine. I was overthinking that. I know what Vera meant to you, and I know what Angel means to all of us now, and I never want to be like that to you. Where you could watch me have sex with someone else and not care. Human thing, I know."

"I watch you with Jessica, and I care." I pointed out.

"That is different." Morgan said. Then she stopped, looked very surprised by that self revelation. "I will be damned. When did that happen? Wow. Just wow."

I smiled a glad smile. "Surprise!"

"Jessica?" Morgan asked inquiringly. Jessica had been listening, touching my arm as I talked.

"Yes, Love?"

"Would you mind kissing me? Right now, I mean?"

I watched, and I cared.

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