STUDY BUDDIES. | hajeongwoo

13.

jeongwoo choked at his dessert the moment haruto's statement entered his ears. it did not mean anything, at least for a normal person to hear, but means everything when it comes to someone who admires that person.

jeongwoo sure hated it, but at the same time, liked the fact that maybe haruto was okay with the thought to see each other anyway.

he was too hopeful. he did not want his hyungs, specifically yedam and hyunsuk, to scold him over something that's been repeating over and over again.

and he did never really mean to hope, because haruto was the one who caused him to rekindle all the hopes he could gather and flash it to him.

it was devastating, for jeongwoo to remain weak over the same person again and again for such a long time.

"what do you even mean?" jeongwoo questioned.

he wanted confirmation, he wanted proof to testify the theories inside his head. he wanted to know what he meant, even if it was a mere rejection or a somersaulting acceptance.

"it means that i'll see you everyday, that's great."

that's great. that's great?

jeongwoo almost wanted to explode and cry his heart out as the phrase reiterated inside his head. for some reasons, he couldn't feel mjch more grateful after hearing his statement when this itself was his lifetime dream ever since high school.

he didn't want to hear it like this, not in the moment when everything seems to crumble out as puzzle pieces never seem to be solved. he wasn't even nearing on settling and confirming his feelings yet, then haruto was already playing with him.

maybe he meant it as an as a friend way and never really took it to another level. maybe he mistook it, being a fragile and naive he was.

but then why was jeongwoo already going crazy over such a sentence that said that he wanted to seem him everyday?

"do you want me to teach you everyday? you won't even listen!" jeongwoo exclaimed in a playful way, hiding his shaking voice and his trembling hands on the table.

he was extremely anxious—not because he wasn't comfortable being around with  haruto, but because of his uncontrollable feelings that seems to wonder around in every parts of his body.

he was scared that maybe he'll lose control of himself and blurt something that would inevitably cause his end.

haruto wasn't dumb, and he wasn't that much dense either. he noticed how the male suddenly switched his demeanor and acted completely uncomfortable and looking reluctant on being here beside him.

haruto thought that maybe it was a wrong idea to state something obviously out of the box.

"are you okay?" haruto asked in worry, putting down his cup of latte then looking at jeongwoo who was just chuckling as his reply before hearing him say an "im fine, thank you."

"am i, in any way, making you uncomfortable?" haruto asked, even worsening jeongwoo's situation.

well he didn't even know what to do or even say in this kind of situation. he had never been stuck here before, and he wanted to help even the slightest bit without knowing that he was actually the reason on jeongwoo's breakdown.

"its all on me, don't blame yourself, ruto! do you want to continue?" jeongwoo uttered, his tone much more calmer unlike earlier.

haruto was perplexed, confused, and overly bothered but what had happen. and jeongwoo wasn't that dumb and immature either.

showing his soft and sensitive side like that, it was rather displeasing and unpleasant as jeongwoo thought.

it sucks how false hopes cause someone ecstasies and euphorias without knowing that it was all fallacies and chicaneries.

ㅡ
my writing style changed again 🤙