STUDY BUDDIES. | hajeongwoo

50.

"what are you doing here?"

the japanese widened his eyes in surprise upon seeing him as he was being vulnerable, as it wasn't what he actually expected. as far as he could remember, jeongwoo allotted most of his time into breaking him to smithereens— which he couldn't fathom yet.

jeongwoo continued to stand there like a statue, unable to move or to even flinch. he couldn't even understand if he had the right to stand in front of him, to face him, to at least show up or say something— right after he made him suffer.

kissing someone else aside from your lover is a taboo. it shouldn't be done, not when you vowed and promised to stay beside each other forever and establish loyalty. and both of them aren't even over yet, because he couldn't remember whether haruto said something related to such demise, but realized what has caused him to get knocked out of senses.

wasn't he the one who did it first? jeongwoo remembered, so well once again, and it brought his blood to boil in livid and look down at the other with such dismay just by one thought.

who was it that caused him to betray? who was it that caused him to kiss his best friend, maybe against his will? he reminded himself as pain retrograded, it was haruto.

jeongwoo curled his palm into a fist, submitting all of the pain left unsaid to one specific part as he continued to stare at the other who couldn't even utter a single word and look him in the eye. and maybe it was for the best, not to face him in such a long time, before he could lose himself in frustration for the third time this day.

he wants to say something— no, for sure that he needed to. because he didn't he come outside and chase him after a moment of realization knocked in him by his friends just to stand and say nothing when there are a gargantuan thoughts pushing at the end of his tongue waiting to be uttered.

just when jeongwoo had finally thpught of something to ease the tension they shared and commence his supposed explanation and revive substantiation, he saw haruto stand up from the ground with his hand rested on the wall for support. he seems to be in pain, jeongwoo could tell, but not in pain where he couldn't see it clearly— the man that stood in front of him seems to struggle just by taking oxygen.

"so..?" haruto started, making the first move seems like its not a big deal when the tanned male even struggled where to start. haruto was panting, he noticed again, but why?

jeongwoo remained silent for a moment, not because he was contemplating whether he should be the one to start the talk and submit to cooperate but because he noticed something strange about haruto as he stood in front of him. flushed cheeks that he would have mistaken as an tomato, enormous beads of sweats that would make it seem like he's soaked by the rain, ragged breathing as he struggled to stabilize— overall he was trembling.

jeongwoo didn't go to medical school just for him to not notice such common symptoms that would arrive to fever. and what, after all the care he gave, haruto still decided to worsen his state by going through such crowded places and even drinking a bottle of alcohol which is in hands.

the thought made jeongwoo to feel upset, and maybe guilty— because haruto wouldn't let anyone take care of him unless its him, and he wouldn't be going around getting wasted either because he wasn't by his side anymore.

in spite of all the lies he blabbered and all the cattiness he gave in bitter hope that he would not appear on his sight anymore, jeongwoo only found the barricade he took so long to build to get threatened because the haruto he knew ended up getting wounded by his inexperienced hands who only wanted nothing but to catalyze affection.

"haruto, hey—" jeongwoo started as he continued to feel emollient, reaching out his hand towards the other's visage whom he longed so long to feel. but when he was about to, suffocating thoughts of breaking him the moment the tip of his finger touches his frail skin caused him to withdraw— lest he'd end up doing the same mistake again.