STUDY BUDDIES. | hajeongwoo

22.

what am i doing?

jeongwoo looked up to meet the latter's gaze, confusion filling up his eyes with tears still streaming down his face.

suddenly, all the embarrassment swallowed him up as a whole, him eating the ground alive seems to be the appropriate way to describe all his emotion.

"h-haruto?" the crying male unintendedly stuttered, still staring to haruto's eyes as they shared contact.

it was blissful, being unable to look away from his eyes that seems to show sympathy which took him quite aback to begin with.

haruto didn't respond, occupied by wiping the male's tears, his face centimeters away from the other.

one wrong, maybe a wrong one, move and they would be able to close the gap. gulping, several thoughts has already entered jeongwoo's mind as he patiently waited for haruto to stay a considerable distance away.

kiss him. kiss him. kissㅡhell no.

jeongwoo wanted to scream. seconds of haruto wiping his tears seems to take a few years longer.

time in his world seems to be more slower this time, his focus completely on haruto, and only him. that's the only thing he could see, and everything else is blurry.

you're my world, i guess.

after a few minutes of wiping, and calming, and exchanging of 'dont cry's', haruto finally distanced his face away from the male.

and suddenly jeongwoo felt somewhat lighter, as if a thorn is taken away while being pierced from his body, but at the same time felt the most prolific disappointment. 

after a long minute of awkward silence, both individuals engulfed by their own thoughts with fidgeting hands, haruto broke the silence with an apologetic statement starting with an, "im sorry, that probably made you uncomfortable."

nodding, jeongwoo nodded not in agreement on his second statement but more on the first one.

he understood, and he never really wanted to see haruto being this awkward with him in spite of just meeting him a few days agoㅡbeing unable to look at him this time with his intense gaze yet filled with fastidiousness.

"its alright. i was overreacting," jeongwoo paused with a chuckle, "it was a sad movie and i thought it was fun!" he whined after, blaming that one friend who fooled him that it was a pretty much fun movie.

taking a peek, haruto looked at him before smiling and then chuckling after.

"who even told you that it was fun?" haruto asked, curious on how that one male fooled this crying guy beside him that it was actually fun to watch with along with someone.

hesitating for a moment, the male answered "yeongue."

yeongue? haruto furrowed his brows upon hearing the unfamiliar name. but not digging on to any more questions, he nodded in response. "he fooled you, how fascinating."

releasing another laugh, jeongwoo playfully smacked the other's arm, a pout formed from his lips. "don't laugh! im embarrassed here!" was the sentence he uttered, a small whine followed after rendering him to plaster a smile.

"its true. look at you, a crying mess," the taller male shook his head in obvious disapproval, causing jeongwoo to heave a rather heavy and dramatic sigh.

"can you pleaseㅡshut up? i didn't even cry that hard!" jeongwoo defended, his embarrassment escalating as he throwed his hands up just a level with his shoulder to gesture a 'its not true' sign.

"not hard? well yeah, whatever. keep dreaming!" haruto shook his head at the others mild or whatever level he could describe, of stupidity that is.

however, the latter did not even bother on arguing back after a while of bickering. obviously getting tired of proving his belief and hiding his embarrassment, he leaned his back to the couch he was sitting, his gaze now focused at the ceiling.

and then following his action, haruto also leaned his back and stared at the ceiling just like the male beside him, their stares laid down at the empty, dull ceiling in front.

followed by silence, but never awkward, engulfed their  surrounding, taking a short break to replenish the energy they wasted just by useless bickers.

"today was fun," the taller male started, blunt and straightforward with gaze still at the ceiling.

this statement almost made jeongwoo choke from his own saliva, taken aback, but felt his heart bursting with happiness in the next few moments.

for sure he didn't notice, that what they're doing already meant a lot to the other, including him.

he was so immersed in their own interaction that he almost forgot all the struggles he holds for most of the time during his life.

he forgot all the stress he felt just to fit in to haruto's taste, to his satisfaction, without knowing that even the smallest laughters and playful arguments they shared already meant something to him, and to himself.