The Secrets We Keep: A Choni Story

Chapter 17

The next day
Cheryl's POV
I woke up snuggling next to Toni in her hospital bed I just stared at her face for a few seconds, she was so beautiful. I got up trying my best not to wake Toni. I thought now would be the best time to read the letter if I was going to do it. I stood in the doorway and started to read the letter.

If you are reading this, my love, I am sorry for the pain I have caused you. You brought me happiness and I brought you pain, and for that I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I love you, I have since I saw you in the hallway that day. Our relationship was the only good thing about my life and when that ended I was consumed by darkness, I felt like you were holding me back from falling into an abyss of darkness and one day I just went too far forward and you couldn't hold on any longer. I want you to know that none of this is your fault because you never explicitly broke up with me, I just felt that you were going to because you knew that you deserved better than me. I couldn't even be truthful with you and that put you in danger and that was when I knew something needed to change. The day I found out my father took his own life the first thing I wanted to know was why and I'm guessing you have the same question.

Why: I did this because I'm exhausted. I know it sounds crazy but being numb is so exhausting, and at some point, the darkness becomes too much to handle and I felt that without you by my side there was absolutely no way I wouldn't be suffocated by the darkness.

You can keep the promise ring, since withholding the truth has made so many things go awry the promise ring is a protection ring. I gave it to you because I love you and I didn't want you to ever be hurt or in pain. So I hope that I can protect you through that.

I want you to live your life and find love in someone that deserves it and treats you better than I did and just be happy. I am sorry once again and please don't cry. Princesses don't cry.

Love you always and forever,

Toni

I was crying. I didn't know that Toni felt like this. She seemed so strong, I was so blind, I couldn't see through her brave faces that she put on. I thought that she was cheating on me when she wasn't and I messed everything up.

"Cheryl, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I heard Toni ask as she woke up.

I turned to face her, "Because Toni! Because I was too blind to see that you were in pain!" I cried.

"Cheryl. This wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. I made the decision, nobody is to blame but me, okay?" she asked looking in my eyes.

"Why did you try to leave me all alone?!" I sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Cheryl, but at least you'd have Jason," she said.

"Jason isn't the love of my life!" I shouted.

"I don't know what to say, Cheryl. What do you want me to say?" she asked sincerely.

I sat down in the chair next to her bed.

I sighed, "You are meant to be in my life. You were dead Toni when I went into that trailer you were dead. Jughead and I gave you CPR and that gave you a faint pulse. When we came to the hospital, you flatlined and you were clinically dead for two and a half minutes. Those were the worst two and a half minutes of my life because I don't see my future without you in it. So, what I want from you, Antoinette is to promise me that you'll never try and leave me again, I can't do this without you." I poured my heart out.

"Cheryl, I love you, but I can't promise you that. I can promise you that, I'll go to therapy to go to combat my depression which in turn will help me not want to leave you, is that okay?" she asked.

I nodded.

"I would hug you, but you know?" she chuckled.

"Miss Topaz, you can go home today," the doctor said.

"Would you like to unstrap me then?" she asked.

The doctor came into the room and unstrapped Toni then left.

"Soooo, about that hug?" I asked playfully.

She got up and hugged tighter than ever.

"Let's go home, TT," I smiled.

We walked out of the hospital hand in hand and we got into my car and drove to Thistlehouse.

Thistlehouse
Toni's POV
Cheryl and I walked into Thistlehouse hand in hand. We sat down together on the couch.

"Cheryl, can I ask you a question and can you be completely honest with me?" I asked seriously.

"Of course, Toni," she smiled warmly.

I took a deep breath, "Now you know the truth about me, do you still love me?" I asked voice shaking.

"Yes, I've never stopped loving you and I never will," she said seriously.

"I don't know what to do Cheryl," I said honestly.

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"If I stay a vampire I can protect you and all my loved ones, but I'll have an insatiable blood lust, and I'll be immortal" I sighed.

"That's a decision you have to make for yourself, Toni, but whatever you choose I'll be by your side," she said.

"I think I want to be human because I got that potion for myself and being immortal means I can't live my entire life with you," I said confidently.

"Then bite me," Cheryl said out of the blue.

"What?!" I asked shocked.

"Bite me, won't that solve all your problems?" she asked.

"No, I'm not going to do that Cheryl," I replied calmly, "Look, whatever the truth is, Cheryl I need time to work it out by myself," I said.

"What?" Cheryl asked worriedly.

"I need space, a break and I think you do too," I said.

"What are you saying, Toni?" she asked anxiously.

"I'm saying you're the HBIC of Riverdale, Cheryl you have a 4.0GPA to uphold, I'm, I'm just a distraction," I explained.

"I'll give it all up, I'll give it all up for you Toni," she said.

"Cheryl you're chasing something right now, and I, I'll only slow you down" I started.

"Don't. Don't say you're doing this for me, to protect me, please don't" she said firmly.

"I love you, but I can't do this anymore, I'm so sorry" I said tears forming in my eyes.

I got up to leave but Cheryl grabbed my hand.

"Toni, kiss me, please," she begged.

"If I kiss you in this moment I'll never be able to walk away," I sighed.