The Bad Boy's Baby • Colby Brock

Chapter 20: No Experience

-Colby-

I rub my eyes as my alarm goes off. I wasn't able to sleep. All I could think of was what my mom said.

I'm losing hope in my ability to be a father. I don't even know what it's like to have a father, how am I suppose to learn how to be one? I'm afraid I'll become my worse fear.

I get out of bed, throwing on jeans and a t shirt. I just wanted to get this day over with.

I quickly get ready for school and leave before my mom could wake up. I didn't want to see her or talk to her.

She loves me but she doesn't understand where my life is right now. She doesn't understand that I'm having a baby and I'm a father now. She doesn't want this to be my life, but it is.

What do I tell my son when he asks for his grandfather? Do I tell him the truth or do I tell him the least of it? I don't want him to be afraid, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll be my father. I'm afraid I'll hurt my son.

***

"Hey Colby, wait up." Sam yells behind me. I look and see him running towards me. "Hey," I breath out.

"What's up with you?" His eyebrows furrow. I look away from him and keep walking, avoiding the talk.

"Colby, talk to me bro." He pats my shoulder.

I stop and move out of the way from the other students.

"I don't think I can do it, Sam." I sigh. His eye widen and he shakes his head, "You can't do that to her again. You-"

"Look, thank you for all the support, but I can't. I can't risk hurting them like," I take a deep breath. "Like my dad hurt me and my mom." I look around and see Amara and John laughing by her car. I look back to Sam, "I'll see you tomorrow. I'm just going to skip out today. Tell Amara I'm sorry, I just can't do it." Before he could respond I begin walking back to my car. I didn't want to hear him argue with me. I love everything he's done for me, but I also need his support now too. I understand what I'm doing is wrong, on so many levels. And I know Amara won't understand and she'll be angry with me, but I can't be a father.