The Bad Boy's Baby • Colby Brock

Chapter 35: Fear

I sit on my couch. I haven't even bothered to put my shorts on. I just stare at the dark, empty room. I don't know how long it's been. I don't know what time it is. I just know I'm alone. I'm completely alone.

I can hear the door open and shut. I'm too scared to look. What if he's back? What if he's coming to hurt me again?

But, I hear my sons laugh. I sigh in relief and look over, seeing Colby putting his shoes up. Cain's sitting on his hip, holding onto his shirt.

"Hey, how was your day?" I say quietly. I can't tell him. I want to, but I cant. I can't risk Cain's life.

"Good! We just filmed some different challenges and stuff." He smiles. " I'm going to give Cain a bath and put him to bed. Do you want to help?" He asks me.

I shake my head no. I just wanted to sleep. "I think I'm going to go lay down actually." I tell him. I stand up, the aching in my body worsens.

"You sure? It's only 8:30." His eyebrows furrow.

"I-I'm sure." I choke back the tears. "I'm going to go shower in your bathroom." I tell him. Before he could respond I walk to his bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I walk into his bathroom and quickly undress. I just wanted to get it off me. His smell, his germs.

I turn the water to scorching hot. I stop in, not even bothered by the temperature. I just wanted it off.

I scrub my body after I lather with soap. My nails pierce my skins, causing some places to bleed. I look down at myself. All I can see is him and what he did. The tears leave my eyes and I begin crying. Screaming some. I hate myself. I hate myself for letting him get away with it. Why? Why me?

I fall to the shower floor, pulling my knees to my chest as I scream. The water continues to hit me, burning my skin.

I didn't feel safe in my home anymore. I didn't feel safe being alone, without Colby. What happens if he comes back and I'm alone with Cain? What happens if he comes back and I'm alone with nobody to help me, like today.

I finally find the strength to stand up. I turn off the water and wrap a towel around me. I didn't even bother to grab clothes before coming on here.

I open the door and make sure Colby isn't in there. I can hear him in Cain and Is bathroom with him.

I quickly run to my room. I put on pajamas and lay in my bed. I can hear Colby shutting Cain's door. He then pops his head into my room, looking at me for a moment before walking over to me. He sighs and sits next to me. I flinch when he reaches towards me.

"I-I'm sorry." I stutter.

"What's wrong, Amara? What happened?" He asks and he climbs closer to me.

"Please don't," my voice chokes as I begin to cry again. "Don't touch me." I can feel my heart race when he gets closer.

"I won't, don't worry." He says with a worried voice.

My body stays tense as he sits next to me. I know he wouldn't hurt me, I know that wouldn't happen.

"Come get me if you need me." He says quietly. He gets out of my bed and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly.

What am I supposed to do? Do I tell someone? Do I risk him coming back? He knows where I live now. He's dangerous.

***

Hours pass and I still can't sleep. I just can't stop thinking that he's going to come back. I don't feel safe. I look at my phone screen. It's 3A.M. I'm still shaking with fear, my eyes drained and my head throbbing from crying. I'm such a slut. I allowed this to happen to me. How did I allow it?

I jump as a branch hits my window. My heart races and I start crying again. What if he comes in through a window? We're on the first floor, he could get in.

I get up and hurriedly check my window. It's locked, like it usually is. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. I can't. I can't stop my panic, I can't stop my tears.

I sit on my floor, holding my chest as I try to breath through the racing of my heart. I breathe in through my nose and out my mouth. I can feel myself calm down.

I get up and take a slow steps to my door. I open it quietly and lean my head out. It's completely silent. I creek Cain's door open. He's laying in his crib completely knocked out. I smile and walk over to him. Placing my hand on his soft, curly hair. I pick him up slowly and cradle him. He remains asleep in my arms. I walk out his room slowly. I open Colby's door. He's asleep, too. His laptop stays on beside him. I keep Cain in one arm as I shut it. I put Cain in the middle of his bed, then climb in on the other side of him. I wrap my arm around Cain and snuggle into Colby's blanket.

I can finally relax. I feel safe.