Heaven

Chapter 39

The girls are right; I need to talk with Finn about Quinn if I'm still jealous of her. I mean, I only died a couple years ago and we never talked about her.

As for Jesse, we never really talked about him so if he's jealous, then I just found out. We need to talk about our ex's.

Marley and Kitty dragged their husbands out of here a couple hours ago, and the slightly tense atmosphere is still there between Finn and I. Santana's meeting up with a few college friends right now, so we've got the house to ourselves. He's up in Logan's room right now, putting up the name art Marley got for him.

After cleaning up the kitchen, I gather all of my strength and go up stairs to Logan's room. I figure, if I'm going to talk about this, might as well be in a football themed room.

"Hey handyman," I smile when I waddle up to the door. All the rooms have come together nicely, but especially Logan's because it's Finn's favorite. My favorite is Savannah's, mainly because I got to put a bunch of musicals together and make it look like my dream bedroom when I was a kid.

He looks up from the crib he's almost finished assembling and says, "Hey Lexi, Annie, Logan, and Mommy." Annie is our nickname for Savannah.

At that moment, one of them, I think it's Lexi, starts kicking. "Lexi Harper is excited to hear Daddy's voice, isn't she?"

That's all it takes for Finn to crack a smile. "So, what's up, babe?"

"I figured we could talk about Quinn and Jesse," I nervously suggest. Better to just rip off the bandage.

He nervously chuckles, "Alright; what do you want to talk about them for?"

"We never talked about them and then they were brought up today and there was a weird vibe so I think we should talk about them." This is incredibly awkward for us.

I get a nod in agreement before his first question, "Do you still love him?"

"No," I reply after a couple seconds. "I love Shelby and Blaire and the life we had together, but I'm in love with you, not him. What about Quinn, are you still in love with her?"

It takes him a couple of seconds to come up with his answer, "A little piece of you always loves your first love but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. You're my wife, and I do not want her to be, ever. If Jesse and you had died at the same time, would you be with me?"

That's a really good question, one I'm not entirely sure what the answer is. "I hope not, but it's a possibility."

"You hope not?" Finn asks, confused. "What are you saying, Rachel? That if he had died when you did, we wouldn't be together?"

"I never said that! Finn, I said that I don't know! Life and death work in mysterious ways; I don't know what would've happened!" I respond, slightly raising my voice.

He looks very confused now, "Are we fighting?"

Are we? "Yes, because you can't accept that I don't know what choice I would've made if Jesse and I had died at the same time!"

"You don't know? Rachel, the moment we started dating at Nationals, I knew that I'd eventually marry you! You're telling me that you would be with Jesse if he'd died on the same day as you?" Finn asks, getting mad.

"Of course I don't know, Finn! I didn't have to deal with that choice, and you know it. You know that if Quinn had died before me and wanted you, you would've been with her!" I respond, anger taking over.

"Do not- what's the word that means act that you'd know the choice I'd make?" He asks, making me internally chuckle.

"Insinuate," I respond.

"Do not insinuate that I would be with Quinn and not you. I fell out of love with her so long ago, Rach! But it seems like I'm just a fill in for Jesse; is that right?" Finn shouts, mad now.

"Never act like I fell out of love with you. Ever.  I couldn't, Finn! I tried, I wanted to sometimes, but I couldn't pull it off. Jesse was the love of my Earth life, the one I married down there, but you're the one that's the love of this life." I shout back, sitting in the rocking chair because I'm pregnant and can't stand up that long.

After a minute of confusion, the anger returns to Finn's face. "What do you mean, he was the love of your life down there? That, even if we'd gotten married and I hadn't died, you would've ended up with him?"

"I don't know, Finn! If you hadn't died, then we would've probably been together down there too but we didn't get the chance!" I shout back, a cramping pain in my stomach.

"Don't act like I wanted to die, Rachel! I wanted to be with you, I wanted you to be with me. You know that. You're acting like you were meant to be with Jesse but not with me," Finn shouts back. There's a wet feeling in between my thighs now, and a big pain that feels like it might be a contraction.

"What, do you have no excuse and that's what's happening?" He shouts when I'm silent for a minute.

I glare at him, "No, you idiot! My water just broke." Men, I swear, they're all stupid.

"You don't have any water bottles near you," he states, fully serious. I may have married an idiot. A very cute idiot but an idiot nonetheless.

"The one that means that I'm about to give birth to your kids, Finn Hudson-Berry!" I shout. I'm still mad at him; we'll fight while I'm in labor. "We've got to get in the truck and then go to the emergency room and tell them I'm giving birth. Grab my phone before we go."

"Holy crap! Rach, can you get in the car? I'll grab everything," Finn bolts out of the room.

It's fine, just leave your pregnant wife here and grab her phone. Idiot. He's lucky I can waddle out of here. "I'm still mad at you!" I shout once I make it halfway down the stairs.

"Same here, babe! But let's fight later," he responds from the kitchen, where he's grabbing the birth bag, keys, and our phones.

I get all the way down the stairs before I see him, holding the door open. It took twenty minutes for me to go down the stairs, God.  "I want to fight now, though!"

"Fine, we'll fight now," he surrenders.

"We were meant to be together, Finn, if you believe in that stuff. But the thing is, your death was something the universe or God or whatever planned in advance, so on Earth, I was supposed to be with Jesse. Up here, however, I didn't have to settle for someone who wasn't you." I stop talking as a contraction hits and inhale a sharp breath.

What I just said must have made a lot of sense, because he smiles. "You're right. And I wouldn't rather anyone else be having my kids, even if it is a little gross."

--

*Time skip to after birth bc that shit's nasty and I don't know how it works*

The triplets are all beautiful, but in the NICU. I ended up being lucky enough to be able to vaginally birth, as I've had a c-section and those things are not fun.

Lexi Harper is the one they're most concerned about at the moment, as the other two were healthier and more easily oxygenated after being delivered.

Savannah Mackenzie is the healthiest one; she was definitely kicking me the hardest. I still want her to be a gymnast.

Logan Isaac's not doing bad, nor great. He's able to breathe on his own now; they all are accept Lexi. He's definitely the smallest one of them, though.

👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄

I'm bored

Later loves,

~Ry