Heaven

Chapter 1

Rachel POV

"And, action!" Jesse yells as the cameras roll. We're recording one of my music videos today, and I want it to be perfect, so of course my kids and husband are with me. There's only one person missing... Finn. I still love him after all these years.

I miss him more every day, but at least this song is for him. I wrote this song right after he died, before I could get out of bed. I know I should've released this song before, but I wasn't ready to, emotionally. Now, I feel like it's the perfect time, since we're releasing it on the tenth anniversary of his death.

I take my seat on the stool and take out my phone. There's a Finn/Finchel gallery on there and I want to look at it while singing.

"It's been seven whole days, seven whole days since you paralyzed me," I start, already tearing up. I was warned that this would happen, like it does every time I try to sing this song, but I have to do this. Not for me, but for Finn.

"Seven whole days, seven whole days, since you lost your fight," I continue, tears brimming my eyes. He died because of a car crash, in which there was a distracted driver who drove right into his car and killed him.

"And I can't get the last words that you said, can't get those words out of my head," I see a picture of us on what was supposed to be our wedding day and the tears begin to fall. I got a Finn tattoo after he died, but there's another one that not a lot of people know about.

"Seven whole days, seven whole days, and four words, and I can't get away from the burning pain," I slow my tears, and keep scrolling through, looking at old pictures of us.

"I lie awake, and the fallen hero haunts my thoughts, how could you leave me this way?" I wish that his gravestone could have said Husband on it, because he was my soulmate. I love Jesse, sure, but not the same way I love Finn. I wish I hadn't gone to New York. He was my home, not some city.

"It's been seven whole days, without your embrace, I wanna see your face, I got some things to say," I sing, remembering when I got the call that he'd been admitted to the hospital with life threatening injuries. I got in a plane and flew back to Lima, ran to the hospital faster than I knew was possible, and I ran into his room, and cried. I just cried.

"Was just a week ago, you said, I love you girl, I said, I love you more, then a breath, a pause, you said, if you say so." Those four words always make me cry. No one says them around me anymore, they know that they belong to Finn. It was a week before he was coming back for opening night of Funny Girl. My understudy had to step up and take my role, because I couldn't even get up and go to the kitchen, forget about perform.

"If you say so, if you say so, if you say so." I see a picture of us in the choir room with all of our friends, the one that he had in his room. That always was his favorite photo of ours, I smile to myself a little bit.

"It's been seven when days, seven whole days since I heard the phone ring, seven whole days, seven whole days, since I heard your voice," I begin to sob. This is the worst thing; I want to talk about him, carry on his legacy, but I break down and cry every time I try.

"And I can't get those last words that you said, can't get those words out of my head, it's been seven whole days seven whole days of pure hurt," I collect myself. My kids are here, and they shouldn't have to see Mommy cry.

"And I can't get away from the burning pain, I lie awake and the fallen hero haunts my thoughts." I had insomnia for months after he died, and a piece of my heart is missing, it feels like, without him here.

"How could you leave me this way?" I can't believe he left before we got married. After Funny Girl, we were going to. But most importantly, I can't believe he died so young and alone. He died without anyone he loved by his side, just a drunk lady texting on her cell phone.