heart mate - the journey of love

Back to India

We are finally back home after the long hours of flight making me sick because of the journey. I quickly changed to my pajamas and went to bed.

Next day morning

" Good morning!!up so early??" I asked him.

" Ya actually I have to leave in a few minutes" he replied.

" Okk" I said and by the time he received a call after which he kissed my forehead and left.
Everything went so boring after he left. I tried watching movies but nothing was satisfying me. I felt so void. Would I be like this for the whole of my life? I questioned myself. Because this soon is going to be my routine as darsh would leave for his concerts and me...... doing nothing. I remember my dreams......to become a motivational speaker and to build a foundation which would serve children and take care of them. To gather as many as I can who lost hopes in their lives, to give them a ray of hope, a new life which everyone wishes for. Will all these happen??

I remember my mom used to say that we should have some meaning in our life. So I can't be like this doing nothing. Even I would have something in me which defines me..... of course other than darsh. I started browsing for more information regarding the courses which would offer to teach speaking skills. "ASPIRE" was the name of the institution which would offer courses related to my stream. I remember dreaming about it during my college days. It was one of the top rated institute. I dialed the number which was given in the description.

" Hello! Is this aspire?" I asked.

" Hello mam aspire at your service. How can i help you??" she replied kindly.

" Actually I want to know about the courses you offer in detail. I checked in your website still if you could tell me more about it" I asked her.

" We generally offer classes for improving your speaking skills, the body language you should maintain while speaking and all that...but what specifically do you want to know about mam" she asked.

" Well.....I need to improve my speaking skills and ya I don't speak English fluently generally making a lot of grammar mistakes. I want to become a motivational speaker so would you help with that?" I asked.

" Of course mam why not, we offer courses related to that also don't worry about it and regarding your English speaking you are way too good at it so I don't think you would need any training in that. But if you really like to get trained then it's fine actually motivational speaking is not that easy too....you should know when to speak what and also keep the audience entertained so that they don't start snoring " she laughed.

" Very much true" I laughed as well.

" Regarding the fee structure, I'll send you the details through WhatsApp" she said.

" Okk. And is there any branch in Mumbai coz I saw your branch is located in Ahmedabad?" I asked her hoping for a positive reply.

" No mam sorry, we have only one branch which is in Ahmedabad. " She said making me disappointed.

" How many days does it take to complete and get the certificate" I asked.

" It takes 2 months roughly mam as it also depends upon your performance" she replied.

" Okay thank you so much" I said.

" It's our pleasure mam" she replied and cut the call.

Urgg!!!what should I do now? I can't let go of this chance. It is the most reputed institute and also my dream to join there but I can't go leaving darsh. After so long we are finally together and now leaving him and going is not my cup of tea. But this opportunity is also something important for me. Okay I think I can talk to him about it when he returns.

I waited for him to return back with a bowl full of popcorn, sitting casually in our sofa watching a movie. I heard the door bell ring and was excited for him to come. I opened the door but found him really tired.

" It was so tiring today,there were loads of work to complete" his face was pale may be due to the heavy work he had been doing all day. He changed and joined me for dinner. While having our dinner I thought it was the best time to ask about my new idea.

" Darsh!!" I called him.

" Hmm" was his reply as he was busy with his phone.

" I actually wanted to ask you something" I said.

" Hmm" was his reply again.

" Arey listen na" I was irritated as he was not paying attention.

" Hmm......I am listening" he said swallowing the food in his mouth.

" I want to go to Ahmedabad" I finally said.

" What??sorry....come again" he was shocked, it was clearly visible.

" I actually want to become a motivational speaker so I thought of joining aspire institute which is in Ahmedabad" I replied.

" And you didn't bother to even tell anything about this to me...right?" He asked.

" It's not like that.....I...I mean I decided it today...like when you were not there na....I was really bored and I remembered about my ambitions that once i used to dream about....in which I had no hopes back then" I said.

" What is the need for it now? You have everything here and I earn quite well so what is the need for you to work" his words surprised me.  I never expected these words from darsh as I thought he would support me.

" It's not just work darsh, it is my dream, my passion" I said.

" Passion.... seriously!!" He laughed making me annoy.
" Are you talking about the passion which you failed to realize all these years?" He asked.

" For me to become a motivational speaker I should be mentally stable and peaceful. To motivate them, first I should be motivated which I wasn't back then. Then how could you say I didn't think about it before?" I asked.

" And what makes you think you could do it now?" He asked.

" You!! You are my fuel, my confidence, my inspiration, my everything. I feel everything will be fine if you are there with me" I said with a ray of hope so that he would understand. But he didn't, he left the dinner, washed his hands and left to his room. Did I do something wrong? I want to become independent, have my own dreams. I want to do something to this world. I wish my life serves purpose and inspires others to live the life they wish to but fail to understand. I went back to my room to make him understand.

" I..." I was soon cut by his words " I don't want to talk about that anymore so please" he said. Why is he doing this? I just want to pursue my dreams, my goals then why is he not happy with it. Without his support I can't do anything. I thought of talking to him again in the morning and dozed off.

I woke up finding him missing beside me. He generally doesn't wake up so early. Maybe he has to leave early like yesterday I thought and went to complete my morning chores. When I came back I saw him coming out of the balcony probably talking to someone on phone. I smiled at him but he didn't reciprocate it. He is avoiding me like I never exist and trust me that hurts.

" Darsh!" I stopped him from leaving.
" It hurts when you avoid me darsh" I had tears in my eyes ready to come out any moment.

" And it hurts when you are not with me, it hurts when you find reasons to leave me" he said palely.

" Just for 2 months" I said to which he huffed.

" Ya 2 months" he laughed.

" Do you think it's easy for me? No it's not. It's difficult for me too but right now I need your support darsh to pursue my dreams. It's because of you that I am back on my track and now I don't want to lose it. Who would know it better than you darsh how important it is to do what we wish for and to pursue our dreams." I was sobbing but he didn't care he left again leaving me to myself. How will I be able to do this without his support?

This continued for almost a week and he avoided me all this while. Everybody will be returning today from their trip. I thought of discussing it with them. Maybe atleast they would understand and support me. My life is taking a new path and I don't know how its gonna be. Will it dump me like all the time or will it give me a chance to shine. Let's see.........