UNMASKED (Incognito Book 3- Completed)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Biyernes kinabukasan at nagpaalam si Charlee kay Dean Marasigan na hindi na muna siya papasok upang damayan ang ina.

Hindi na rin siya nagtungo kina ZD noong Sabado, at sa halip ay lumabas lang upang puntahan ang mga batang tinuturuan niya.

Naive that he was, he even asked her if she needed any help, if her family needed anything, and she was too close to telling him he can do nothing at this point.
Maging ang kaniyang ama at mga kapatid ay naghalinhinan din sa pananatili sa buhay upang alagaan ang ina.

Her mother was well and was back to work when Charlee went back to INSU on Monday. Sinundo siya ni ZD, ngunit buong araw ay halos hindi niya ito kinikibo. She was glad he didn't ask any question, but stayed with her, held her hand, kissed her when he felt like she needed them.

And she wanted to cry out at how even if the man knows almost nothing about her past, he knows exactly when and where and how she needed to be touched, and kissed, and loved.

In a way ay sinasanay niya itong huwag maging masyadong attached sa kanya, ang eventually ay masanay na wala na siya sa buhay nito. Dahil hindi niya alam kung bakit pakiramdam niya, sa tuwing maghihiwalay sila kapag inihahatid nito, ay parang iyon na lagi ang huli.

“Denise, may... may nasabi ka na bang...” ZD hesitated. Hawak nito ang kamay niya habang kapwa sila nakaupo sa bench na iyon sa boardwalk, the same spot where they had their first date. Noon ay palubog na ang araw. “I mean, did you ever...” napailing ito. “Nevermind.” buntung-hninga nito. “It was silly, anyway.”

“Did I ever what?” untag niya dito.

Muling iniharap ni ZD ang mukha sa kanya. He looked so good, so beautiful, with the late afternoon sun illuminating his skin, and a fewssttray hair, and his long lashes casting some shadows on his face.

Gustung-guston niyang hawakan na sa kanyang mga palad ang guwapong mukha nito, ang hagkan ito. But she resisted the urge.

“May iba ka na bang nakasama ng ganito dati?” sa wakas ay tanong nito. “Not for anything but I just want to know if you have ever... told anyone you loved him.”

Her eyes widened. ZD looked somewhat lost, and sad as those questions came out. “Nawalan na ako ng pagkakataong makakilala ng iba, ang may makasama ng ganito...” pag-amin niya. “And I never thought that even through this life, even after all this years it would happen. You, woud happen.” she smiled. “So the answer is no, never, until... until you.”

Ilang segundo siya nitong tiningnan, na tila lubusang ina-absorb ang sinabi niya, at hinahayaang damhin nito ang impact ng narinig. She felt him squeeze her hand, before he leaned in and kissed her lightly. After a few seconds when they pulled apart, she thought she wanted to know the same. And so she asked.

“How about you, ZD? Have you ever been with another like this... I mean.” she bit her lip. Gusto niyang iuntog ang sarili sa balikat nito.

He smiled. “There were others before, but not of them were like you. I have been with them, but not like this.

Maaaring may minahal ako, pero hindi gaya nito na parang dahan-dahang hinuhugot ang life support ko sa tuwing maghihiwalay tayo.” napailing ito.

Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin doon. ZD looked so vulnerable, and yet it also seeemd like he might have already resigned himself to the fact that one day, and it could be anytime soon, she will leave him as well. At maaring hindi na siya nito muling makita pa. 

“I know exactly how that feels.” malungkot na sabi niya.

“I was just thinking...” nag-iwas ito ng tingin, at ipinako iyon sa papalubog na araw. “Hanggang kailan ganito? I mean, when do you say enough is enough?”

“ZD.” napa-direcho siya ng upo. Mahina lang ang pagkakasabi nito niyon, ngunit hindi maikakaila ang frustration, at marahil ay galit.

“Don't you think you have gone through so much, Denise? Ilang taon na bang ganito, na sa tuwing kailangan na muling umalis, lumipat ng tirahan, ay damay kayong magkakapatid? You can't even have a a normal life. You can't even do the one thing you love the most.” napaailing ito.

“Here, you have to go to some stranger's house to play the piano. You can't even have friends, as you said before. Kung ano man iyong tinatakbuhan ng ninyo, hindi pa ba sapat ang ilang taong nawala sa buhay mo para ngayon ay magdesisyon ka namang humiwalay na? Denise, it's---”

“It is my life, too, ZD.” matiags na sabi niya. Pero hindi niya makuhang magalit sa binata. Wala itong alam.


“I know it is your life.” ZD's expression softened. “But you're twenty-eight, you shoulD be enjoying a career, having fun, enjoying being young, maybe even thinking about settling down...” sabu nito, at sa narinig ay dagling bumilis ang pintig ng puso niya. Between the two of them, she knows ZD is the one more invested, more involved.

Please God, sana ay hindi niya iniisip ang naiisip ko. “Pero pamilya ko ito, ZD. At kung anuman ang pinagdadaaanan namin ngayon, hindi puwede, at ayokong basta na lang iyon talikuran.”

Ilang segundong namayani sa kanila ang katahimikan, habang kapwa sila nakatingin sa isa't-isa. Sa huli ay si ZD ang humila sa kanya payakap dito. “I'm sorry.” bulong nito. “I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that.”

“Okay lang.” sabi niya, ahabang gumaganti ng yaklap dito. She buried her face in his neck, taking in his manly scent.

“I guess I'm just worried about you...”

“Ayos lang ako, ZD. Please maniwala ka.” then her hand began stroking his back. He pulled away, just enough so he could look at her face for seconds more before he captured her lips with his.

Ipinikit niya ang mga mata, at hinayaan ang sariling damhin ang labi nitong masuyong hinahagkan siya. Tinugon niya ang paghalik nito na parang lahat ng hindi niya nagawang sabihin nitong nakaraang mga araw ay doon niya naipapahayag.

As she lost herself in the sensation of his kiss, Charlee thought about what he said. Kaya nga ba niyang talikuran ang lahat, ang subukang mabuhay ng normal, sakaling humiwalay na siya sa kanyang pamilya?

She imagined herself in that beautiful house by the beach with him, or while playing the piano in his parents' living room, going to work, being with each other, kissing and making love like nothing else matters...

Ngunit alam din niyang kahit bali-baliktarin pa niya ang sitwasyon, ay imposibleng mangyari ang mga iyon.

She reluctantly broke the kiss, pullig herself away, and trying as much as she can to not look at his face. “Kailangan ko nang umuwi.”
He sighed. “I know.”

Habang magkahawak-kamay patungo sa parking area ay iyon ang lamaan ng isip niya. Hindi niya puwedeng iwan ang pamilya.

Nasa batas na kapag pinili niyang umalis sa witness protection program ay kailangan din niyang i-forfeit ang lahat ng anumang kaugnayang mayroon siya sa mga ito. Ibig sabihin ay hindi na niya rin maaring makita, makausap, o makarinig man lang ng kahit na ano tungkol sa mga ito.

At ang sinumang pinipiling umalis sa program ay hindi na nabubuhay pa. Tiyak na pupuntiryahin pa rin siya nga mga Dominguez, just to show her family, and everyone, that they made the wrong move in going against them.

Napailing siya. Gusto man niya ang ideya ng paglaya, ay wala ring katiyakan ang lahat hangga't hindi nahuhuli ang mga mastermind. But at least... napatingin siya kay ZD.

Binitiwan niya ang kamay nito, bago ipinaikot ang braso sa baywang ng binata.

She pulled him close, pressing her body against his. Noon ito napatingin sa kanya, bago nangingiting iniyakap din ang isang braso nito sa kanyang balikat. He kissed her temple before they resumed walking.

I have him... and this. And theseare more than I've ever had.