Just Close Enough to Burn (station 19)

Reignited

Dear Diary,

Today was my last 24 hour shift for a while. I start medical school in three days and have to drop down to 8-12 hour shifts. Between classes and studying I won't be able to spend as much time at the station but I feel lucky that I'll still get to be here for a few shifts a week. Anyway, this shift was truly an... interesting one. It started with Andy and Jack fighting over budget stuff and basically the entire idea of co-captaining. We all just stood by reception and watched trying to figure out what in the world was going on. The confusion continued when we went to the grocery store and Andy was suddenly in a great mood. Definitely suspicious. Maya and I tried to talk to her but we got called to a fire before we could find anything out. And it didn't help that she and Maya are kinda in a weird place right now. Andy told her to back off with the captain coaching a few days ago and as much as I love Maya, she can take things a little too personally and a little too far.

We quickly ignored all of that when we arrived at a Bed and Breakfast that was on fire... or at least they said it was on fire. I waited in the aid car expecting victims with burns or smoke inhalation and got nothing. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad no one was hurt but I can't believe these sisters called the fire department for something they could have put out with one blast of a fire extinguisher.

The aid car got called out again that afternoon to a retirement home to check out a woman after a fall. Travis and I had been out to see Edith several times over the past few weeks and we were concerned that she had another fall. This time Maya was with us and tried to convince her to get checked out at the hospital but of course Edith refused. It ended up being a quick call, she wouldn't even let us give her any pain killers, but the ride over did give Maya and me a chance to talk. We agreed that something seemed weird with Andy, like there's something she isn't telling us, but neither of us knew what it was. She also brought up the whole "stay in your lane" comment that was still bothering her. I listened to her vent and reminded her that Andy didn't really mean it; she was probably just overwhelmed, all of which Maya already knew but needed to hear out loud. She agreed to let it go, especially if it would help us figure out what's going on.

The ride back to the station was less productive. Travis was talking to us but Maya was super checked out and just stared at her phone the whole time. I tried to check in with her when we got back but she brushed it off and said everything was fine. She seemed okay enough so I just let it go and went to hang out with Ben, Dean, and Vic. Maya stopped by to ask if we had seen Andy and still seemed off. Vic asked if everything was okay and again she said that everything was fine. The second I saw her leave the building during a shift I knew she was lying.There was no way Bishop would leave while she was on call unless something was seriously wrong. There wasn't a lot I could do until she got back so I kept playing foosball with Miller and Hughes while Warren went on and on about the new VR training tool they got. Eventually everyone went to bed but I waited up for Maya to get back.

I heard the door open and went downstairs but didn't see Maya. A minute later she came out of the captain's office. I guess she was looking for Andy. I tried to talk to her again and she didn't want to talk about it, but she obviously wasn't okay.

"Okay for real, what's going on? Are you okay?" Mattie asked.
"I told you, everything's fine, just leave it alone!" Maya retorted with tears in her eyes as she turned away and quickly ran up the stairs.
Mattie paused a moment then followed. She found her friend sitting on the metal steps that overlook the engines. Sitting down next to her, Mattie spoke up before Maya could shut her down again, "Look if you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I won't press it. But you don't have to pretend you're okay when we both know that's not true."
Holding back tears Maya nodded and they just sat together quietly for a moment. Eventually Maya leaned over and put her head on Mattie's shoulder. Mattie wrapped an arm around her and let her cry, no questions asked.

..........

Later that night, as Mattie was getting ready for bed, Maya knocked on her door. "Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for being there for me earlier. I really needed it."
Mattie looked up at her in the doorway, "Yeah of course."
Maya shifted a little as if deciding whether or not to say what she was thinking. "Yeah I mean I tried to talk to Andy. Before I left and then when I got back. But she was MIA. and then..." she trailed off.
Mattie stopped and looked at Maya, "and what?" "And then I saw Jack's shirt on the floor outside her room."

I got a couple of hours of sleep before we got called out again. It was another call to the same B and B we went to before. One of the sisters came out as soon as we got there and she had inhaled a lot of smoke so I got her on O2 and watched her closely as I listened to the walkies waiting for news on the other sister. Before they got the other sister out Ben came out with Vic. The fire had reignited after Vic took her helmet and O2 mask off so it burnt her ear a little, but she looked more freaked out than hurt.

They got the other sister out but there had been a lot of exploding glass and the victim inhaled some of it. We lost an airway and Andy, Maya, and I had to work quickly to get her breathing again. Andy tended to the glass in her leg while Maya criced her and I did compressions. Miraculously we got her back and stabilized. It really was a remarkable save, but when Andy said so to Maya she just walked right by her. Andy turned to me and asked if I knew what all that was about, and I wasn't really sure what to say. I didn't want Andy to know that I knew about Jack and I couldn't break Maya's trust by telling her about what happened last night, so I just told Andy that Maya had really needed her. She looked confused so I followed up saying that "it seems like something's going on with her, and she just really needed her best friend" before walking back to the aid car.

The shift ended pretty soon after that and I headed straight home and climbed right into bed. It's been a really long 24 hours, especially considering I was up most of the night. Plus I missed like 14 texts from Connor so I should probably give him a call before he thinks I'm dead. Goodnight for now.

-Mattie