Just Close Enough to Burn (station 19)

Trip Around the Sun

Dear Diary,

Today started like any other. I got up early because I had a shift, got ready, grabbed a granola bar for breakfast and headed out. I jammed to some Sara Bareilles on my way to the station and sat in my car for an extra minute and a half to finish the song haha. When I walked into the station, Andy immediately came up to wish me a happy birthday. I don't care that much about my birthday so I didn't really mention it or make a big deal, so it was sweet that she remembered.

After I got changed and put my stuff in my locker I headed to Maya's office. I had planned on talking to her at home this morning, but she left early to get a jump on paperwork. I wanted to ask her if I could dip out for a bit in the afternoon to get lunch with my mom. Every year when I was a kid, my mom would take the afternoon off from work, pick me up early from school, and take me out for lunch. We'd go anywhere I wanted. It always felt so special cause my mom worked so much, and I never saw her in the middle of the day. She wanted to keep up the tradition, so I told her I'd ask Maya for an hour off.

I knocked on her open door and asked if she would mind if I took off for a bit later on. She immediately said no; it was against protocol. I was not expecting that. I asked if she was serious and she nodded earnestly, saying that just because she's my friend and my roommate, doesn't mean she can bend the rules for me whenever I want special treatment. Yikes... okay. Even though I didn't really, I told her I understood and went out to the barn to stock the aid car.

We got called out to a fire a half hour later. It was a three alarm, and we were the last station to get called in. 23, 42, and 7 were already working to put out the flames in this apartment complex when we arrived. The captain of 23 was running the scene, and as petty as it is, I couldn't help but feel glad that for once Maya wasn't in charge.

The incident commander said that they were still working to evacuate residents. The fire was contained to one building, but the wind blew it over to the neighboring building, escalating the situation. The 19 team was responsible for evacuating the second building. They suited up and ran in. Because the fire spread so quickly, they expected more injuries than usual. I got the aid car prepped and on stand by, and turned my radio up so I could follow along with what was going on. As I was waiting, I heard Vic asking if anyone had a mom looking for her kid. Everyone responded saying that they hadn't. A few minutes later, Vic came out carrying a little girl who looked to be about 5 years old. She was coughing and crying and kept calling out for her mom as she clung to Vic. I knew that Hughes had to get back in there to help, so I pulled the child out of her arms, and sat down with her on the back of the rig.

I put on my best maternal voice, and asked her some basic questions that would help me treat her and calm her down. She told me her name was Lily, that she was 5 years old exactly, today was her birthday. I said that was so exciting and asked her what she wanted to do to celebrate. She started rambling about her birthday party that was pirate princess themed, and all the games she would play, etc. Once she stopped crying, I checked her out to make sure she hadn't inhaled too much smoke and she looked perfectly healthy; just a little shaken up. She kept asking for her mom and I reassured her that we were looking for her and they'd be together soon. I asked her what her mom's name was and what she looked like. I didn't tell Lily this, but we had a lot of victims coming out of the building unconscious. Apparently on top of the fire, there was a carbon monoxide leak in one corner of the building.

They started bringing out more patients and I kept trying to get over to treat them, but the little girl would not leave my side. Finally I asked if she wanted to be my helper and she nodded enthusiastically. I had her stand next to me with her back turned to the patients. You can never be sure what's going to happen with victims, and I didn't want her to see anything scary. I put a bag down a few feet away and as I worked, I would periodically ask her to get me something from it. It was never anything I actually needed (I had my own jump bag with me) but it kept her busy and feeling like she was helping, and not freaking out about her mom.

After a little while, I heard Jack say that he thought he found the girl's mom. He heard a woman calling out for someone and followed her voice to an apartment on the 5th floor. By the time he got there she had lost consciousness and he had to carry her out of the building. When we got her on a stretcher, Lily turned around to hand me a 4x4 and shouted out for her mom. She started to run over but I could see that Jack was trying to intubate and was having a hard time because her throat was swollen from the smoke. I grabbed Lily and held her back, saying that my friend was working to help her mommy and she needed to stay over here for a while. She started crying again, sensing the danger of the situation. It took 4 minutes, but they finally got her intubated and started bagging. I called over to Jack, to say that I had the woman's daughter, and we needed to keep them together.

With that, Jack loaded the mom into our rig and jumped in to drive to Grey Sloan. I stayed in the back with Lily and her mom. As I was monitoring her mom, I could see that Lily was really scared. Her mom couldn't talk to her, and I kept squeezing this blue contraption to keep her breathing. I reached over and grabbed a teddy bear out of my bag. I passed it over to Lily, telling her it was a birthday present. Then I told her that it was a special bear. It gave superpowers to whoever was holding it that made them super strong and super brave. She gave it a tight squeeze, took a deep breath, and calmed herself down. When we got to the hospital, Teddy opened the ambulance doors and after we updated her on our patient, she said she had a social worker inside to keep an eye on the little girl until they could contact someone to come be with her. I nodded and turned to Lily saying that my friend Dr. Altman was going to take her inside and introduce her to someone really nice that was going to play with her. She nodded as I helped her down out of the rig. As they started to leave, Teddy turned and said "Oh, happy birthday by the way." I laughed and thanked her, in all the chaos I had almost forgotten. Lily's eyes went wide realizing we had the same birthday, and she ran back to give me a hug. It was such a cute moment.

When we got back to the station, I went up to grab a snack from the beanery, and saw my mom setting up mountains of take out pad thai, and lighting candles on a giant red velvet cake. Captain Herrera and Giuls were there too, helping my mom set up. I walked over, asking what in the world they were doing. Just then, Maya came in smiling at me and I realized she had been in on it the whole time. The team smelled food and came up to see what was going on. No one else knew it was my birthday and they were pissed that I hadn't told them. A plate of noodles quickly helped them let it go haha and we all sat around the table and chatted while we ate. As much as I love going out to lunch with my mom on my birthday, somehow this was better.

Then my mom lit the candles on the cake and everyone sang. The team looked really confused when Pruitt started singing in Spanish, so I knew I had to explain after I blew out the candles. When I was little, my dad always sang happy birthday to me in Spanish. It sounded ridiculous cause she sang it over everyone else who was singing in English. On my first birthday without my dad, which was also my first birthday in Seattle, we invited the Herreras and Tanners over for dinner and cake. When it came time to sing, everyone was singing in English and I was hit with grief all over again. When I started crying, my mom asked if it was because of the song. I nodded, and she explained the story to everyone else. Pruitt immediately started singing it in Spanish for me, and he's done it every year since.

This time, it actually made me tear up, thinking about how this would probably be the last year that he did it. I shook it off and focused on enjoying the time I had with him and everyone else. Somehow, we had a solid 3 hours without a call and it was so fun to just hang out with everyone. Pruitt kept asking Giuls all these questions, interrogating her the same way he had every boyfriend I ever had, but she held her own. Travis was telling my mom about all the weird habits I have at the station (sorry I accidentally leave hair ties all over the place and always need a glass of water by my bed haha) and asked if I did that when I lived with her too. I looked around and was struck by how much I love everyone in that room. As much as I always look forward to lunches out with my mom on my birthday, this was somehow so much better.

-Mattie