Just Close Enough to Burn (station 19)

Into the Woods

Dear Diary,

It's been a rough week. First Andy moved out, and it's really sucked to not have her around. Plus she didn't even tell Maya she was leaving, so it certainly didn't make things better between them. Maya has at least been normal with me at home, for which I'm grateful. She's still a little bit of a nightmare at work, but I'm learning to handle it. Plus school started up and this semester is definitely going to be a challenge. On top of regular classes, we have some clinical hours every week, and of course we're doing them at Grey Sloan. At first I was excited to see my friends, but then I realized that everyone is going to find out.

Anyway, after the last shift, Maya declared that the team was going camping over the weekend. So yesterday we all packed into a van and headed out to the middle of the woods. Captain Herrera came with us which was fun, well except for the fact that Andy is barely speaking to him. Vasquez brought his wife and Vic brought Jackson, so at least there were a few extra people to be a buffer for all the awkwardness. Everyone was nervous about going, but I tried to be optimistic, saying that maybe Maya would be better when we weren't at the station. I had to at least hope right?

We drove into the woods and then had to hike another three miles to our campground. There was a couple camping near our site, and they were extremely friendly... honestly it was a little weird, but at that point even overly friendly strangers seemed better than the quiet resentment of my group. Once we got to our site, Maya pulled out a clipboard and tried to assign people tent spots... it was truly something. Thank god Herrera was there, cause he was trying to get her to chill out a little. I don't know that it helped, but it was nice to have someone that wasn't me, talking to Maya and trying to keep her from ruining the experience.

We started setting up a campfire and Maya just kept pacing around us, watching, captaining. It was intense. Later that night, we all gathered around the campfire and found out that there weren't any s'more materials. And seriously who goes camping and doesn't make s'mores? In an effort to lift our spirits, Dean and Vic started singing. They sang like half a song and somehow it was the most fun any of us had had all day. Maya tried to do another exercise, with a pinecone, in which we all say something we appreciate about the person next to us. It was definitely strange but not her worst idea of the day. Either way, it didn't last long cause Andy threw the pinecone in the fire.

After that the whole team crashed early, and the next morning we woke up to someone screaming. We raced out to see what was going on and saw that the overly friendly couple from the neighboring campsite had been attacked by a bear. They were hurt pretty badly, and the guy even had his nose ripped off. Thank god Jackson was there. We jumped in to help, and everyone who wasn't actively working to stabilize them went out looking for the nose. Miraculously, we were able to get them both stabilized and to the hospital.

I was working with Jackson to help the victims and went with the ambulance to the hospital. We took them to Grey Sloan, and on our way, Maya texted to say that they found the nose. She ran it down, but the rigs had already left, so they were going to bring it to the hospital. I let Jackson know and he made sure to prep for reattachment. Maya also said that they ran into the bear. Luckily Andy knew what to do, and they were all okay. I was so relieved to hear that; the last thing this team needed was a bear attack.

When we got back home, I tried telling Maya that she needs to learn how to actually relax and have fun. I asked what she did in high school to blow off steam and hang out with her friends. She admitted she didn't really do that. As much as that explains things, I didn't really believe that was possible.

Maya started telling me stories about how her dad coached her as a teenager. He would go to every race and cheer her on, which is really nice! ... unless she didn't win. Then he wouldn't talk to her, or would yell at her, or would keep food from her, or make her walk home from the meet. And even when she was winning every race, she was never allowed to sleep in or eat junk food or even really watch tv and listen to music. She basically had no life except for running. The whole time she was telling me these stories, my heart grew heavier and heavier imagining how tough her childhood must have been.