You Just Me (Just Between You and Me)

Chapter 21

I have been waiting for Malcolm to open his door for about an hour now. The brat has kept me going back and forth from my room to his, it's exhausting. Mom has decided that we visit and personally send our condolences to Lola Teddy's bereaved family in her funeral wake. When I told her days ago about the text message in Mace's phone, she was quick to call a few of her friends to help her reach out to Mace's mother. Gladly, she succeeded. With it, I got mixed emotions. Lola Teddy's passing was sad news. And I admit that I regret not visiting her that often when her grandson and I were still fine. But to see Mace after such a long time made me quite excited, to be honest. I know it sounds disrespectful but I'm really looking forward to seeing him more than Lola Teddy. To me, death could be such a sensitive subject I don't really want to talk about and deal with.

"Mac, we are about to leave. Hurry up, will you?" I knocked on his door but he was not responding. When Mom told him we were visiting Mace and his family, I expected my brother to feel excited too. But I was wrong. Malcolm just gave all of us at dinner with a blank expression and brought his food with him to the living room. Manang Nancy told us the next morning that he was in tears while eating dinner by himself. I was about to go back to my room when I heard his door finally opened. I looked back and saw him, still not ready to leave.

"You are the worst, Lance. You sure are impossible." He started. After so long, not just a single word came out of him that were directed towards me. "After all the crazy shit you did, may lakas ka pa ng loob na pumunta doon at humarap sa kanya?" I know he's talking about Mace. He faked a laugh. "Laging sinasabi ni Mace sa akin na mabuting tao ang kuya ko. And I always believed him. Pero ngayon, I would like to think otherwise. May puso ka pa ba?"

I fully turned back and faced him. I stared at him for a while. His words hurt me and I wanted him to know that. "You know what? Sometimes I wished I didn't have one so I wouldn't feel as miserable as I am right now." I was deeply serious. "You are lucky, Malcolm. Everybody considers how you feel. Lahat gustong malaman kung okay ka lang, whether they personally know you or not. I really don't think I have that. Have you ever asked me about how I'm feeling? From how I see it, you don't really care. You're right. I am the worst. I am impossible. But aside from our parents, Mace is the only person I know who would care about my feelings right now. That is why I want to be there." Silence dominated the both of us for a while. "Kung hindi ka sasama, I'm not gonna force you any longer. If you have nothing else to say, we'll go now." I decided to head down so we can leave. Malcolm just stood there and was not moving. Bahala na siya.

Mom and Dad met me on the stairs with a concerned look. They must have heard me and my brother. "Anak, what happened?" Mom asked.

"He's not coming. Let's just go." I told them.

"You can go ahead. It's time the boy and I have a talk." Dad decided to stay with my brother.

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"Anak, sigurado ka ba na okay ka lang?" Mom asked as I was driving on the highway. "Maari naman ipagpaliban na lang natin sa ibang araw ang pagbisita."

"Ma, you can't just back out now that we're almost there. Besides, your friends are already waiting for you." I retorted.

We arrived at the wake and my eyes immediately roamed to look for Mace. But he was not around. I was carrying the small flower stand that Mom prepared when someone called Mom from behind us.

"Mariella, ikaw na ba yan?"

Mom turned to the person who called her and immediately approached who it was. "Macey!" From that I knew it was Mace's mother. I got nervous that I didn't want to turn and face her. I was thinking that Mace could be with her. "Kumusta ka na? Na-miss kita, mare! Lalo kang gumaganda ha." Mom sounded so happy seeing her friend.