Random Blog Of Life

Day Twelve

One of these days I'll find out how to actually begin each post.
I try to do something different each time, but as it would seem I can't find the right words.
There are many ways on how to begin each blog post.
A poetic beginning?
Some random opener like I did in day ten?
I do not know.
Sigh. I'll figure it out sooner or later.
Which it also reminds me of the quote at the end of day eleven:
"One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple."
-Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums
There are days where I never know exactly what to say or even how to say it.
Then there are days, where these words come out and everything works out right.
The quote mainly is saying, to me, is that it may take time for the words to come to you.
When they do come to you, it's surprising how simple the words to say were.
We make things complicated at times.
Well at least I know I do.
Moving on, at times the words you want to say come out jumbled and long...well and complicated.
As it turns out, the words you want to say are in fact simple. They are short and to the point.
Of course it isn't always a simple situation.
Yet it seems simple to others.
In turn you have to look at the situation at hand in a different perspective.
Looking at a situation from all angles has its pros and cons though.
Everything has pros and cons.
Sometimes taking a peak at the pros and cons can be helpful.
Other times it puts more pressure and your mind is still in a state of what to do.
This is of course not how everyone thinks and does things.
We are all different and have our own opinions. We all have a different way of doing things.
I am just pointing out that this is what happens to me sometimes and what I've observed.
There are times where I'll look at pros and cons and be fine. Other times I'm still confused at what to do then I was before.
I'm not the only one who feels this way...right?
Hopefully, I'm not the only one.
I always think, which I'm probably not the ones with these thoughts, that I'm alone.
I'm destined to be alone.
Not true, but it is how I feel at times.
It is how I'm supposed to be.
I know it isn't supposed to be, but it's how I feel like it's supposed to be that way.
Nothing seems to work out relationship wise.
I haven't had many relationships, but it just always seem like I do something to mess it up.
Not always, but mostly it seems that way.
Correction, to me it seems that way.
I do realize when it isn't my fault, but at some point I look and see what I did wrong.
I see what I did wrong.
That is all I see.
Me and the wrong.
The wrong isn't all I see all the time, but I do see it. A lot.
I need to see the good more than the bad.
This way I can feel more confident about myself.
It will come in due time.
I know I will get there.
Just have to take one step at a time.
It is a slow process, but it can be done.
Change can be done.
I guess I'll just stop it here for now. I'm going to go listen to music and write more of the story.
On which I am on chapter 11!
It is getting there.
Let's get to the quote!
"The more closely the author thinks of why he wrote, the more he comes to regard his imagination as a kind of self-generating cement which glued his facts together, and his emotions as a kind of dark and obscure designer of those facts. Reluctantly, he comes to the conclusion that to account for his book is to account for his life."
- Richard Wright
*Puts aviator sunglasses on* Till tomorrow.
Ciao!
~Raiden