Random Blog Of Life

Day Twenty Four

Every single one of us has a story to tell.
Even if you say you don't, you do.
Your past is a story.
Your present is a story.
Your future is a story.
We all have a story inside us just waiting to be told.
It's why when I saw the quote by Maya Angelou I knew that I had to use it.
It fits to what I want to say and talk about.
What is it exactly that I want to talk about or say?
Each of us has a story waiting to be told, right?
A story that is itching to get out, but you won't let it or you don't how to form the words to say it.
Either way it causes agony holding the story in. Once you have held the story in for so long, it seems like everything is bursting from the seams. The emotion that the story brings is built up inside and sooner or later you won't be able to handle it anymore. There are times though when you can hold it in and not tell a soul.
My character Olivia Baker, for example, doesn't trust people easily. Even then she doesn't speak about her life to those who she barely learns to trust or get real close to. As I mentioned before our lives are a story. Olivia's story is one that no one knows and she wants to tell people, but something inside stops her. The whole book is basically Olivia's life story. It's in a current part of her life, but at the same time you learn bits and pieces of her past to get a full story.
Another example is this blog. The Random Blog of Life. There are a lot that I posted that I never thought could say out loud. The blog is like my story.
My story I'm sharing with you all.
Why?
I haven't figured out why.
I can't pin point it.
I guess sometimes it's good to let it all out, but why let it out to strangers.
Maybe because they won't lie?
Maybe...
Okay scratch that because sometimes strangers are nice and won't tell you while others are really blunt and honest.
I'm not really sure.
As I think about it, I think I'm fine without knowing why.
I think it's okay if there are certain things you don't know.
Maybe there is a reason why they are supposed to be unknown.
I'm going to leave it there.
Speaking of reasons.
The saying, 'everything happens for a reason'. Has anyone ever wondered why people say it?
People can definitely have different opinions to what the saying means.
I think everything happens for a reason for the fact that it causes us to grow and learn from it.
From there we grow stronger or we hope to.
I mean saying 'everything happens for reason' isn't going to stop the question or questions that always comes up.
Why is this happening?
Why me?
Thousands of questions pop in one's head when a horrible situation arises.
When I get in a bad situation it is always like I'm the bad guy. I do everything wrong. I blame myself even if it wasn't my fault. I take the blame.
All these emotions hit me at once.
I try to sort them out and figure out what to do.
Me hiding what is wrong and going on to people that are close to me.
The emotions build and build up like a tower.
Then there is the breaking point where the tower is crashed into and all the emotions fall and come out.
I don't like crying in front of people, so if I break down crying it is when I'm alone.
I also don't like showing that something is wrong.
I don't want others to worry about me because in the end I'll know I'll be fine.
I know all the positive words that people can say and there are times where I don't want to hear it because it is going to be said like I don't know already. When it is said like I don't know it makes me feel stupid. It makes it seem that I couldn't possibly know what I should do or the positive ways I need to go about things.
I just want to vent and let it out. Maybe get opinions on what to do. I want to ask what I should do. It brings me back to that Stephen King quote I used. I want someone with an understanding ear.
No one to judge me.
Just listen and understand me.
Support me.
Be someone I can lean on.
I know my friends are the ones I can definitely count on for that.
Of course there is one thing that everyone wants.
Almost everyone.
A relationship.
A significant other.
A lover.
Whatever you would like to call it.
I think you get the point.
I want someone to love me despite my flaws.
Be with me through it all.
Someone who isn't only my friend, but someone who is more than that.
A person who can and is my everything.
My other half.
Soul mate.
It is hard to find this person though.
Just have to wait.
Who knows it could be the guy I've been talking to.
Yes I'm still talking to him.
We have even hung out a couple times.
I don't know how to feel.
My feelings are jumbled.
I've decided to just go with the flow.
I should also try not to overthink about it.
I may miss something if I overthink about it.
Reminds me of this line from the movie Cashback.
"Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it."
Nice right?
Only me?
Well I like it for the reason of if you really don't stop and slow down you will miss something.
If you are overthinking about a topic or question, then you can easily miss the answer.
The answer could be really simple and in front of your eyes, but if you aren't looking then you can easily miss it.
This quote doesn't just go along with love it can go with any topic.
Well to me it can.
In a way.
Okay before I either confuse myself or others.
Or even start contradicting myself from being unsure.
I will move on to the quote!
Quote:
The work never matches the dream of perfection the artist has to start with.
- William Faulkner
*Puts aviator sunglasses on*
Ciao!
~Raiden