Random Blog Of Life

Day Thirteen

Once upon a time...
Okay note to self: Do NOT start off that way.
Let's try again shall we?
The moon shone brightly in the night sky. It shined its light on a girl gazing out her window. The girl is troubled. Her thoughts taunting her. The thoughts turn to haunting her wherever she goes. Every time she tries to sleep, the thoughts haunt her. She is afraid. She can't sleep. Her mind, her thoughts, seem to be eating her alive.
You like?
I just made it up right now.
I like it.
Don't steal.
I just may use it for something because I really do like it.
You're probably wondering why I wrote it.
To answer that question is to look back at the quote from yesterday by Richard Wright.
"The more closely the author thinks of why he wrote, the more he comes to regard his imagination as a kind of self-generating cement which glued his facts together, and his emotions as a kind of dark and obscure designer of those facts. Reluctantly, he comes to the conclusion that to account for his book is to account for his life."
- Richard Wright
I like the way he describes the thought of why a writer writes what they wrote. The description of how the imagination is and the emotions that a writer brings into the writing, I find it very well described. The imagination used to create what I wrote just now is concrete. It is the pieces of the puzzle being put together. The emotions I put are the picture of each puzzle piece. The emotions, like Richard Wright put, design the image put out by your imagination.
Putting the puzzle together is putting the facts together. By putting those altogether creates this picture filled with emotion that the artist brings.
The last line is important.
A lot of writers put a lot of themselves in a character when writing. If not themselves, they make this character of who they would like to be.
It isn't only the characters. It is also the experiences happening in the storyline.
Writers use experiences also to write a story. The experiences are twisted into something bigger, but they generally come from an experience.
This isn't all the time though.
There are stories where the author puts himself or herself in the story in some way. Sometimes the story could also be the author's life because when writing a story you never know how it will turn out exactly.
The story could turn out to be a tale of your life. A short story. A scene. It could all be a tale of the author's life.
Now is there any truth to what I wrote? Is it about me?
Truthfully and honestly?
I have a lot of thoughts.
Some are negative and some are positive.
As you can guess from what I wrote the negative haunt me.
The negative thoughts just keep popping up.
They stay there in my head.
I do try to avert my thoughts to anything good and positive.
I try to get rid of them.
What I noticed though is that I am not the only one who harbors the negative thoughts.
A lot of us think of the bad.
Think of the horrible scenes that could happen.
The bad is just there.
There are times where we do think of the bad, but we do that just to point them out. We don't point them out in a bad way to make us miserable. We just point them out.
I know right now it's 'Why and what is she rambling on about?'.
There is a reason.
In yesterday's post I put it takes one step at a time to change. It is a slow process.
I feel as one step towards changing is recognizing the problem.
I have said some of my problems.
I lack confidence in myself.
I don't think I'm beautiful.
I have low self-esteem.
I at times think badly of myself.
I feel as if I'm a bad person sometimes.
I feel as if I can do nothing right.
The bad thoughts stay and haunt me.
Now since I've actually mentioned some of the things that I find are a problem, I can try to see how I can change it.
I can think...well try to think positive about myself.
For example, go up to a mirror and say to myself 'I am pretty'.
Complement myself.
I mentioned this before, but I'll say it again. Smile more.
These are all I can think of right now.
I know some of you are probably thinking why didn't she say these things earlier.
Well when I started this blog I never thought I'd open up as much as I have.
I wanted to see where it goes, before I actually opened up. It is hard for me to open up fully to people.
Since the second week is about done though, I decided why not and open up a lot more with you all.
I realize you all probably don't want to know me, but for those who actually don't mind getting to me here is me opening up to you, the readers.
Here is the next quote that I will explain on day fifteen:

"Begin with an individual, and before you know it you have created a type; begin with a type, and you find you have created – nothing."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
*Puts aviator sunglasses on*
Ciao!
~Raiden