The Light House Girl.

Chapter 50

The temperature outside had dropped significantly in the last few hours and so did the temperature inside in the last few minutes. But still the cold air outside was no match for the icy cold atmosphere inside the living room of the cabin. Nor are the icy cold stares given off by none other than Ryan and Riley. Why you would wonder? What happened in the last few minutes that changed everything that once felt warm and cozy? Now gone are the warm, fuzzy feeling, instead they are replaced by this weird, calm, cold thing. One word. One freaking word changed it. And you would not believe me if I told you that the word is 'KISS'. Yes. Out of every other word in the dictionary that word made the whole evening turn upside down. Okay I admit it has context but still...ahh. I am no better than these two idiots who are staring at me, sorry my bad glaring at me. If looks could kill I would not be dead now. Because these are not death glares. No. I have seen my share of death glares, not a fan of them personally, but I know the look, and this is definitely not that. No. This one is more of a mixture of disappointment, shock, and... protectiveness maybe. It definitely left a weird taste in my mouth that's for sure.

So, two days ago, Jess showed up in my life and turned it upside down. Well my life at this town at least. It was simple, I knew Jessica, we were I have no idea what. But one thing was sure, I did care about her at least in the last week before everything got fucked up...for the better? I am trying to convince myself to remind myself that constantly, so I do not get angry remembering stuff from back then. You see when Jess showed up, I was really happy to see her again, relieved to see she was alright. And I think she was too to see me. But that ends there. When you throw in a bunch of people in the mix who has no idea of our history it does not turn out how you expect it to be. First thing which is a very important detail in this explanation is the fact that I did not tell anyone the circumstances which led me to end up here. Not even Ade. Plus, no one here knows my full past, everyone knows something what I told them. And also, there is Ryan who knows some things which others have no idea about, same with Riley. Therefore, making it a little more complicated. Add in the mix that I am purposefully avoiding any talk involving my old life, be it school life or home life.

The first question which threw me off the rails was how we know each other because apparently saying we went to the same school is not enough. I tried we were classmates. Nope. Still not enough. What the hell do you want me to say? Because I would say anything but the truth. I mean I excel in that, don't I? Avoidance, slipping through, sarcasm, these come easily to me. Speaking the truth, and laying it all out, yeah never done that one before. Not even sure how to. Jess knows this, well if not now she knows. Only person who has been by my side without question or complications, is Krystal. Well with her there are always complications involved, like my heart speeding up, me growing extremely nervous, yeah that's a new one, the electric current thing still exists, even the shiver. So, nothing is not complicated anymore. Just like my brain which feels scattered now with so many things running that I feel incompetent with my own fucking brain. I feel most times I am playing catch-up with my fucking mind.

Now elders, want to know how I knew Jess and no matter what I say it is not satisfying them, whereas the younger ones including Aaron and Jackson, they want to know stories about my previous life. Huh previous life sounds like I was a spy or something cool. Much, much cooler than what it actually was. Jess is not saying anything. She is also following my lead or is not sure herself how to answer. To some extent I am grateful for that. She knew about the beatings because she had witnessed it many times and the last time firsthand. I on the other hand do not want to be reminded of it. Because it reminds me of my old angry, bitter self. The one I am trying to leave far, far behind. But it is becoming impossible to do so specially with the constant punches thrown at me, albeit none of them are physical or even real punches. All of them metaphorical ones, the ones I am not used to well until now apparently. Good to know that I know how to avoid these punches as well!