Radiance in the Mountains (Paraiso Series #1)

Kabanata 10

"Fifteen years?!" Gulat na tanong ko. I just can't believe it.

Fifteen fucking years! And all I did in those years were carrying my wrath of him while he was... inlove with me? Hala pota oy.

"Oo. I, uh, never courted anyone after Daryah rejected me dahil narealize kong gusto kita. At first akala ko konsensya lang pero hindi eh. It was something stronger." He looked me in the eyes.

His deep blue eyes pierced through mine. It was like he was trying to communicate his emotions to me.

"Sa araw-araw na hindi kita nakikita, I kept longing for your presence. Sabi nga nila, the more the distance, the fonder you get."

Goodness fucking gracious. Wala akong masabi. All this time, akala ko annoyed at irritated siya sakin kaya galit na galit ako nun.

"Nung sinigawan kita noon sa practice natin, I was in denial na may gusto pala ako sayo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit iritadong iritado ako sayo nun. Yun pala, gusto kita." He looked away.

I was just there staring dumbfoundedly at him.

His gaze shifted back to meet mine. "Hazi, niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko kapag sasabihin kong hindi kita mahal. I know I've been a jerk for hurting your feelings and ego before but, I still want to ask your forgiveness."

Napatanga ako sa kanya. He was very sincere. Lahat ng sulok ng mukha niya ay napakaamo tila parang tupa na humihingi ng pagkain sa amo niya.

My heart bleed. I hate being in a situation where people beg something from me. Ayoko ng ganito. I felt horrible. I felt like I'm a monster.

A tear fell from my eye at mabilis ko yung pinahid at pinaypayan ang sarili ko gamit ang mga palad ko. Fuck me for being a softie!

Hadex was just playing with his fingers while looking down. Binawi ko kasi kanina ang kamay ko dahil pinaypayan ko ang sarili ko.

I reached for his hand kaya napaangat siya ng tingin sakin.

"You're a good man to not be forgiven Hadex." I smiled at him. "And yes, pinapatawad na kita."

A tear fell from his eye at nasundan pa yun hanggang sa umiiyak na siya sa harapan ko habang hawak hawak ko ang kamay niya.

Naiiyak na rin ako kaya niyakap ko siya. "Shh... it's okay. I'm here." I consoled him.

Humagolhol siya at nakayugyog ang mga balikat habang umiiyak siya sa balikat ko.

Kapagkuwan ay humiwalay siya sa yakap at nagsalita.

"Hazi, I know kapapatawad mo lang sakin but your gestures are confusing me." He talked honestly.

I know Hadex. Pati ako nagugulohan kung bakit ginagawa ko to. Is this because naaawa ako sayo o iba rin to?

I sighed. "Honestly Dex, hindi ko rin alam kung awa ba to o iba to. I never uh, been inlove..." nahihiya kong sagot.

"Seryoso ka?" He asked. Shocked is written on his face.

Tumango ako. "Oo. I was busy uh, making my way up kasi gusto kong ipakita sayo na hindi ako bobo gaya ng sabi mo noon." I looked away.

"Sorry..."

"It's fine. Kalimutan na natin yun. Pinapatawad na kita remember?" I smiled at him trying to erase any hints of guilt of him.

He smiled softly. "Mas lalo lang akong nahuhulog sayo." He bluntly said.

Damn this man could be very straight forward.

"Actually, the reason why I did not bother with that thing is because I'm afraid. I love myself too much to be left in the gutter crying after everything Hadex. I told you before." I looked at him.