Your parents have recently died and you're traumatised. You're 16 and you live by yourself in the house your parents owned. You live alone. But what happens when a certain boy moves in next door?
Started: 14/06/2020
Finished: 28/07/2020
I was sat in my bathtub after that day in Spanish with Kairi. I had my razor in my hand and I was adding to my already full wrist of cuts. It didn't hurt at this point the sensation of pain was soothing now. *Knock knock* You have got to be kidding me. Maybe they'll leave. *Knock knock* Guess not. I hear Luna barking so I get out of the bath, putting on my white towel gown and tied it up, forgetting about my wrist. I make my way downstairs and open the door to see a crying Kairi. "Y/n, I'm sorry," He says as soon as I open the door. He looks up at me and widens his eyes. He comes towards me and grabs my hand gently. I snatch it back knowing what he's trying to do. "I don't need your help Kai," I snap, but he doesn't drop it. "Y/n you're dripping blood on the floor," He pleads. "No Kai, just leave," I snap. "Y/n, Mattia will come and haunt me if I don't help you, please," He pleads. "Why do you care, huh? Just because Mattia's gone, doesn't give you any right to start caring again," I shout at him. "I never stopped caring y/n, I never stopped loving you," He says quietly. What? "Kai leave," I say. "No, I'm not leaving you," He snaps. Whatever. I turn and walk back upstairs and get back in my bath, not giving two shits in the world that Kairi was here. I hear the front door close and I let out a deep breath and begin to cry as I let my body sink into the bubbles, keeping my head up. I hear my bedroom door open and close and then pitter patters on my carpet. Luna comes into the bathroom and nuzzles her nose in my face. "Hi baby," I say as my voice breaks and more tears fall. "Y/n," I hear from the doorway. I quickly put my arm in the water and internally scream as the water hits my wounds. "Why are you still here?" I ask as my voice breaks even more. "You need me," He whispers as he sits on the counter and leans against the wall. "No I don't," I cry. "You do y/n. I need to help you. Let me help you," Kairi says as tears roll down his face. Luna climbs into the bath and lays on top of me and I groan. I take my arm out to avoid her touching it. I hear Kairi gasp and jump off the counter. I didn't care that I was in the bath and neither did he. But I think we both knew we needed each other right now. He walks over to me and crouches down beside the bath as Luna licks my face. He takes my hand and looks at my wrist as more tears fall. He looks at me and I could see the pain, the heartache in his eyes. I couldn't let him suffer alone. I weakly take my hand and wipe his tears. "I don't think I'm the only one who needs help," I whisper. He sighs and shakes his head.
•Skip four months•
Kairi's really been trying but it's not helping. The cutting has gotten worse if that's even possible. I've planned it. Tonight, after school. I'm going to ring Kairi, asking him to take care of Luna since he's all she'll have. I don't want to leave her. I really don't but I can't live in a world without him anymore. It hurts everyday. This time it'll be different. Kairi won't make it in time. He's going out with Alejandro and Robert tonight. Roberts house is the other side of town so he definitely won't make it. But that's okay, I don't want him to.
I got out of bed and put on a nice outfit, knowing it'd be the last outfit I'd probably wear.
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I went downstairs and sat with Luna for a while after I'd let her out and fed her. *Knock knock* I got up and opened the door. Kairi. "You ready?" He says, a bit more happiness than he did four months ago. I'm happy he's getting better. I really am. But it's just not working out for me. I nodded and he moved out of the way and I walked out of the door, locking it behind me.
It was lunch and I was sat with Alejandro, Kairi and Robert. I actually ate today, knowing it was probably the last time I would. I had a burger since it looked really good today.
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"You're eating," Kairi smiled. I smiled back and nodded. "How are you y/n?" Alejandro asked thoughtfully. "I'm okay," I shrug. "It's not going to hurt forever," Robert says softly. "Yes it will," I say bluntly. I finish my burger and stand up. "I'm off to the field," I say. "I'm coming," Kairi says happily and stands up. The boys chuckle and stand up too. I linked arms with Kairi as I did and put my head on his shoulder as we walked. "I wish he was here," I whisper. "I miss him too y/n," Kairi whispers softly. I nod at him.
I was sat on the beach. This is where I want it to end. I pull my razors out and look down at my wrists. At my scars from the last time I did this. I can't do this. I'm not ready yet. I pull out my phone and dial Kairi. Kairi Y/n Hey, are you okay? I don't want to die Kai I say almost a whisper. Why would you die? Can you come to me? Where are you? No hesitation in his voice. At the beach. I'm on my way Don't hang up please I won't, I promise I could hear his footsteps through the call and his breath Kai stop running When I get there Okay Kai I'll be 2 minutes You can hang up if you want Okay princess He hangs up. Princess? I hear footsteps behind me but I don't move from my position. He comes and sits beside me. The moonlight is shining on the razors on my lap. He picks them up and looks at me. "You were going to do it weren't you?" He sighed. I nodded. "Why didn't you?" He asked softly. "Because Mattia would send me straight back from hell," I chuckled. "Why here?" He frowned. "Because this is where everything became perfect," I sighed and laid back on the sand. "I would go back if I could," He sighed sadly as he put my razors in his pocket and laid down beside me. "Why did you ring me?" He asked me as he looked at the stars. "I wanted you to save me all over again," I sighed. "But you weren't dying," He questions. "I was Kai. I really was. I just didn't tell you," I sighed. I pulled up my sleeve and showed him. He sat up and took my hand and looked down at my wrist. "You told me you were getting better. That you stopped," He frowned. "You know me better than that Kairi," I frowned as I sat up. "I'm sorry for not telling you. But I'm telling you now. I want to be happy again Kairi. And I will let you help me. Take my razors away. Bin them, don't let me get anymore. Make sure I eat 3 meals a day a long with snacks like I used to. Please Kairi. Help me be happy," I pleaded. "You don't need to beg y/n, you had me at I want to be happy again," He smiled. "Thank you Kai," I said quietly as I laid back down. He laid down beside me. "What does happiness feel like?" I whisper into the silence. "I'm not sure y/n," He whispered. He held my hand and we intertwined fingers. I rested my head on his shoulder as we watched the stars. "Do you think he would mind?" I whispered. "Mind what?" Kairi whispered back. "If we tried again," I whispered nervously. "I think he would throw a party in his heaven, he was our biggest shipper," He whispered softly. "If we try again, I won't ruin it this time," He adds. "Aren't you with Vic?" I asked. "We finished like a year ago when I realised I was still in love with you," He whispered. "I'm sorry I left," I whispered. "I'm sorry I let you," He whispered back. We stayed like that for a while until we walked back home together and we departed with me going to my house and him going to his.
