You saved me from myself • Kairi Cosentino(Complete)

6 • Struggling

Y/n Pov:

I woke up to someone shaking me gently. I slowly opened my eyes. I heard a sigh of relief.
"Oh my god, I was so scared something happened to you. You didn't answer the door, my texts or my phone call. Are you an incredibly deep sleeper or something?" Kairi rambled on.
"What?" I moaned in my sleepy voice.
"Your voice sounds sleepy, it's cute," He said, then he put his hand over his mouth and turned bright red. I don't think he was supposed to say that out loud.
"Get up, dinner's ready. It was 10 minutes ago. Come on," He said after his pink shade faded. He grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me to his house.
"Wait Kairi, my hair!!" I shouted, knowing it'll be a mess.
He stopped and looked at me. "Come here," He said as he lifted up his arms. He took out the scrunchy from my hair and did something with my hair. "Okay, sorted, now come on," he said as he dragged me again. We got outside, I locked the door and he dragged me inside his house.
"Sorry we're late Ma," He apologised as he sat down at the table. Jane got up and gave me a warm hug before gesturing me to sit next to Kairi. We began eating.

"Y/n can I ask you a question?" Kairi's sister Maiya asked me.
"Of course," I replied softly.
"Why don't you eat at home with your mum and dad?" She asked innocently. I looked down at my food. My leg started jumping up and down uncontrollably, I was fiddling with my fingers, then began scratching at my wrist, opening up the healing cuts.
Kairi turned to me, after he heard my left moving. He turned his whole body to face me. He took my right hand, that I was scratching my wrist with, in his hand and placed his other hand on my thigh to stop my leg from moving. Could've been my knee? He turned his head to look at Jane.
"Could me and y/n be excused please?" He asked, giving her a look to tell her something was wrong.
"Of course, take her up to your room. I'll asked Maiya's question. I'll put your plates in the oven to keep them warm." She softly replied. Kairi stood up, still holding my hand and I got up too. He softly pulled me in the direction of the stairs. I looked back at Jane, for reassurance and she nodded at me. Kairi took me too his room and then told me to go in the bathroom.
"Y/n, sit on the counter beside the sink," He told me. He held my waist and lifted me slightly to help me up. He took my left arm and pulled up my left sleeve. My wrist was bleeding so badly at this point. I must have dug my nails in more than I wanted too. He looked up at me. He slowly closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Do you have a top on underneath your hoodie?" he asked me quietly. I shook my head. He left the bathroom and came back with a top in his hand. Do you mind changing into this? So I can clean your arm properly. I know you don't like people seeing it but I don't want it to get infected. I'll give you a clean hoodie after I'm done too." He forced out a smile and left the bathroom and shut the door. I carefully took off my hoodie and put on his top, it was too big for me and reached my knees. I opened up the bathroom door and he came back in. He helped me back onto the counter and I held my arm out, giving him permission to touch it. He looked at my arm, observing the mess I'd caused myself. He looked up at me again as another tear rolled down his cheek. He took out a wash cloth and soaked it in warm water. He squeezed out most of the water and was going to touch my arm then he looked at me, asking for permission. I nodded and he began to wipe the blood away, I winced in pain. "I'm so sorry," he said, I shook my head. The tears kept rolling down his cheeks as he was cleaning my arm. Once it was clean, he grabbed a clean towel and gently patted it dry. He got to the open part and I closed my eyes tightly to try and cope with the pain as he dried it. He put the towel on the sink. He looked at me. Then took hold of my legs and spun me to the side of the counter so he could open the cupboard behind my legs. He took out a roll of bandages. He looked at me.
"It will help them heal, I'll put some cream on it and bandage it. But you can't take it off, unless I'm with you and I'm cleaning it again. Promise me?" He said. I nodded.
"Talk to me y/n, I want to help," He said as he took a step closer to me.
"You can't help me," I said as I looked away from his eyes and at the mess I created on my wrist.
"I can try," He insisted.
"It's pointless. I'm a broken mess, just like my wrist," I mumble whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear. He placed his hands on my hips and spun me back around on the counter, back to my previous position. He took my left hand.
"Squeeze my hand if it hurts okay?" He said. I nodded in response. He began putting on the disinfecting, fast-healing cream and I winced in pain again, squeezing his hand as he continued putting it on. "I'm so sorry," He said again. I shook my head at him again. He then bandaged it up and looked up at me as he washed his hands and then leaned back on the counter behind him, drying his hands and looking at me.
"Y/n, look at me," Kairi said. I did as he said, "When you look at me, what do you see?"
"What do you mean?" I asked him, genuinely confused.
"Right here, right now, when you're looking at me, what are you thinking? What are you seeing?" He asked. He genuinely sounded intrigued. I leant back against the wall behind me.
"Do you really want to know?" I sighed.
"Yes, tell me, if you want of course," He said as he lifted himself onto the counter opposite me and leant against the wall, not taking his eyes off me.
"When I looked at you, I think of all the times I was nasty to you, like the time you first turned up on my doorstep, I told you I didn't want to be friends and from then on I knew you as Short Guy because I didn't want to know your name. Because knowing you name meant that you had to be something to me, whether that be a stranger or a friend, or a brother." I looked up at him, he nodded at me to continue and I looked back down. It's easier to talk openly when I'm not looking at the person. I feel less judged because I can't see their reaction. "And like the time in my car on the way back from shopping I think it was. I told you I didn't want to know your name, even though I knew what it was. I tried to push you away to keep you safe. But you kept coming back, I didn't understand. It's difficult you know? Being alone and hurting 24/7 for 6 weeks then someone turns up on your doorstep, wanting to be your friend." I looked up at him again. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he listened intensely. "I'm not ready to talk about my parents yet, I will be one day. I'll tell you all about them. They would've loved you," I said, still looking at them. I smiled at the thought of introducing Kairi to them. They would mess around, tell me he'll be my boyfriend one day and that I loved him and wanted to marry him and they'd sing the songs about us two sitting in a tree. They'd even start picking out flowers and places for our wedding. They were perfect. Maybe in a world with my parents, Kairi would be so much more than just a friend. "They really would have." I repeated.