Listen to Her || A Chicago P.D. Fanfiction

11

A/N: This chapter will be containing a sensitive subject (suicide attempt).

She very quietly sits at the table out on the balcony. She had been very careful not to wake Jay who's softly snoring on the bed. Tears fall from her eyes which she quickly wipes away with the cuffs of her shirts' long sleeves.

She hadn't been sleeping long; a dream, an actual memory, had been replaying itself in her head, jolting her awake half an hour ago. She continues wiping her eyes as tears keep falling, and when a very small sob escapes her mouth, it startles her. It sounded so loud in the silence of the night. Jay stops snoring, slowly blinking his sleep away before cautiously sitting up. After rubbing his eyes, he's trying to focus his sight in the mostly dark room. Looking around, he doesn't find Danielle on the other side of the bed, which confuses him. He had just heard her.

'Didn't I?' He wonders as he looks towards the other side of the room.

His question is answered when he spots one of the balcony doors cracked open. Deciding to check on her, since her side of the bed seems to be completely untouched, he gets out of bed. He carefully approaches the open door, peeking out of it. What he sees makes him feel bad for telling her what he had before he retired to bed. She's sitting there while tears hit the concrete of the balcony, holding her head in her hands. He recognizes that position; the slight white of her knuckles indicates that she's squeezing her head, meaning too much is going on within it for her to tolerate. He knows because he has done the same thing multiple times. He has also seen Mouse do the same thing when his trauma comes back to haunt him some nights. With a quiet exhale, he slowly opens the door, watching as she sits up straight.

"Hey." He says in a whisper, moving to sit opposite of her.

"Hey." She whispers back.

Her voice sounds hoarse, and her eyelids are beginning to get puffy. As he looks her over, she doesn't look at him. She keeps her eyes on the table between them as her walls rapidly put themselves into place again now that she's in the presence of someone else.

"Head too loud?" He gently asks.

He earns a single nod as an answer.

"They would've been here for my birthday." She whispers, voice shaking slightly.

Now he understands the level of intimacy she had with her Marines.

"They would've been so happy to meet Jeremiah." She adds with a cracked voice.

"I know what you're feeling." He speaks after a moment.

It's true. He has lost so many comrades throughout the years, mostly from his time in the Army. He knows exactly what she's feeling. For this reason, she asked him to accompany her.

"But you can make sure Jeremiah knows about them, right?" He asks, trying to help her see the positive side of this negative situation.

She notices that he's being a bit more open to her, and whether it be out of pity or maybe he is trying to help, she's grateful.

"You can tell him that while he sleeps, they protect him from monsters. That they're his guardian angels. That'll paint a nice picture as he grows up until you can tell him what happened." He adds, leaning his elbows on his knees.

She nods slightly, still not daring to look at him out of fear that the kindness coming from him will be seen in his eyes and that it will be the breaking point for her. Very softly, he starts humming a song as he looks out towards the still city. She stays in place, closely listening to the foreign tune. She doesn't know what it is, but as he keeps humming, her brain just stops thinking, allowing her to get a deep breath in. He keeps humming the song; it's a lullaby he learned in Afghanistan from one of their soldiers, who had been humming it to a child that they found hiding in an underground bunker. It usually helps calm Mouse down, so he figured it might do the same with Danielle, possibly allowing her brain to be still even if it's only for a moment.