Roller-coaster ride : c.h.

Something new

"So, how are you doing, ya know with everything?" Zoe asked pouring her and I some tea while the TV was lightly playing in the background.

"Good, I'm genuinely feeling better.'' I said will full sincerity. "I even have a date tonight." I admitted in a light hearted tone.

"Oh do you?" Zoe asked cocking her eyebrows and grinning at me. "With that model Liam?"

"Yes, he's taking me to La Quinta it's some Mexican restuarant. I'm... excited." I responded in a high pitched tone due to my excitement. I was happy I was getting over Calum, Liam was a great guy. He was handsome and sweet, any parent's dream boy to bring home.

"What are you gonna wear?"

"That maxi skirt with the white t-shirt."

"I approve, I approve. Well, I uh, I have somewhere to go."

"Where?" I questioned confused.

"I'm going to hangout with Luke. If you're not comfortable with me seeing him, I can totally end things-" Zoe said starting to ramble.

"No, no that's crazy, go and have fun, I'll be fine by myself."

-

"Whoa, you look gorgeous." Liam complimented taking a good look at me and making my heart race. He was so different, he was someone I wanted to be with.

"Not too bad yourself." I said while I smiled and batted my long lashes at him. "So, what are you gonna order?"

"I was thinking some chicken fajitas or fish tacos. What about you?"

"I was thinking beef fajitas, I don't eat chicken or fish."

"What?! You don't eat chicken or fish, you're crazy..." He pasued. "But you're still cute." His compliment caused me to giggle. Liam reached over the table and grasped my hand and held it. What a gentleman. I was having a conversation with him without having him make a perverted joke or having some sort of pent up anger towards him. Things were starting to really feel normal. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Well, lots of Netlix and ice-cream, but I'm glad you asked me out tonight. I needed to stop watching-.. Oh sorry I'm rambling.." I said realizing my actions and waving off my answer.

"No, you're not. So what show on Netflix?"

"90210... you've probably never heard of it."

"Are you joking, my sister used to watch that show all the time. I think I knew the characters better than she did." Liam joked making me feel more and more confortable. In the middle of talking his phone went off. "I'm so so sorry Alana, I just got a call from my agent saying that I need to leave for London in two hours."

"Oh.. that's okay. I can take a cab home if you need to go and get packed."

"I'm truly sorry."

"It's really okay."

"Another time?"

"Absolutely." I said kissing him sweetly on the lips. I waited for my cab to show up and took a drive home to find an empty house and bed. This was dangerous, this was the first time I had been alone since the break up, no Drew, no Zoe, and no Calum. I started thinking about the breakup and how stupid I was and how much I missed Calum so I did what any dumb girl would do, I texted him.

to:Calum
from:Alana
I miss you. I need to see you

to: Alana
from:Calum
I miss you too.

to:Calum
from:Alana
Can you come over?

to: Alana
from:Calum
Of course, be there in 10.
I heard a knock on the door and opened it to see Calum standing there. I pulled him into my bedroom and started to kiss him hard. I knew what I was doing, i didn't want to do it, but once I started I couldn't stop myself. "Alana..." He breathed out as slid my hands into his pants. "Yeah?" I whispered. "I'm really.. really glad you called." He admitted moaning the last part as I was starting to please him and regretting it. I didn't respond to him, I just continued my actions until it was too late for regret, I had made myself even more vulnderable to him than I ever did. Calum was letting out heavy breaths and I truly reazlied what I had just done. However, he was making himself comfy and getting underneath the covers. "I'm sorry, but you have to leave." I stated wrapping the covers around my body.

"Wha-what..?"

"This.. this was a mistake."

"What do you mean a mistake, you called me remember."

"Yeah, I know, I just need you to leave before Zoe gets home."

"Why so she doesn't think you're a slut sleeping with the asshole ex-boyfriend?"

"Calum, get out. You need to leave. This never should have happened." I rasped avoiding full eye contact. I could not believe I let him have this power over me, yet again. I keep doing this to myself. Getting myself into this trouble. I'm leading up to my own personal demise.

"Whatever Alana. Don't call me again." Calum left the apartment and slammed the door shut behind him causing me to shiver. "What the hell Alana?" I asked myself feeling the tears build up. I had no one to blame but myself. This time I put myself in this situation so this time my onw hurt was myself. Zoe entered and took one look at the floor and back up at me. "You brought Liam home? You naughty girl. I thought you guys were taking things slow. Where is he?"

"Uh, I didn't bring Liam home. I... I- I called Calum."

"You hooked up with Calum? Alana..." She scolded.

"I know, I know it was dumb, I was just all alone, and I started thinking about all the fun Calum and I had together and it made me miss him. So I called him and we ended up having sex, but I know it was stupid and I regret it." Zoe sighed and grabbed a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Listen, I know it's hard for you to get over him. But you've gotta remember Lan, he's an asshole always has been, always will be. I hate to be harsh and brutal, but your whole relationship was based off of a lie. He should be the one feeling shitty about himself. I'm gonna go to bed, but you know where to find me if you need me." Zoe closed the door lightly behind me as I found some clothes to throw on. Zoe was right, I shouldn't be the one sitting around wasting my time on him, he should be the one upset. Calum doesn't deserve me.