He's Not Dangerous {Hayes Grier Fanfic}

-10- Give Me a Brochure with Stupid Kids Smiling and I WILL Punch You

Hayes POV

She leaves me standing there in the parking lot. She said I need help. 

I had no one in my life that cared for me except for Amber. My mom's pretty much a robot, my dad's in heaven, Plop is Plop. She was the only one who may've cared for my wellbeing just a lttle. For this month I've known her, I've grown to love her. And all I've done is disappoint her. She puts her trust in me, I scare her. She forgives me, I do it again.

But she's right, I need help. I have legit problems and I need help. This monster needs help.

So I head to the library after school, to use the computer. I search:

Teenage Therapy in Houston TX

I go through countless websites, all with smiling children who look a little high and stupid phrases like, "You CAN get better." I dont want to do this, I don't want to go talk about my problems to some grandma with a fake smile. But I need to for Amber, for the safety of the others around me. I'm not getting anywhere by juust pounding people when they annoy me and no one else is going to get help for me. I have to do it for myself.

"Dr. Jenkins's office, how may I help you?" A chirpy voice answers when I finally find an office not too far from my house that doesn't have high children on their webpage.

"Hi my name is Hayes Grier. I uh I think I need some therapy." I don't really know what else to say and this is already quite awkard.

"Well Hayes, why do you think you need therapy?" The chirpy voice answers.

"I uh I lose control of myself too easily. I scare people and I don't want too."

"You lose complete control of yourself? You can't think straight and go into full beast mode?" She says and I almost think I hear some concern.

"Yeah that's exactly it."

"Hayes do you have a parent who thinks therapy is a good idea too?"

"Well I have my mom but she's not really involved in my life. I think I really need to do this for myself. I'm a senior in high school but I'm a legal adult." 

"I think it's very good of you to acknowledge that you need this. I'll be glad to help make you an appointment."

The receptionist helps me set an appointment at 4:00 tomorrow after school. I sigh when the appointment is made knowing this is the right thing to do. Maybe Amber will be my best friend fo eva again.

When I get home from the library, my mom is no where to be found. There's not many places to hide in our apartment so I know for sure she's left.

I start to freak out knowing she hasn't left the apartment in over a month. She could be anywhere. Then I find a note on the table written in her scraggly handwriting.

Hayes: Went to the bar out downtown. Have whatever for dinner. Should be home sometime in the night.

That's it. No love mom or nothing. Have whatever for dinner - she couldn't care less if I starved. I have 5 bucks in my pocket, that's all I have.

I can't help but think of when I went to Amber's house and her mom wasn't home. How she made her cookies, left her money, told her exactly when she'd be home. I want a mother who cares for me.

I scream in frustration and slam the door of my room. I immediately go to my sock drawer for my blade the I remember I flushed it down the toilet. I slam the drawer causing my dresser to break but I don't care. 

There's a knife in the kitchen and that'll have to do. I grab it and quickly cut into my skin that was just healing. It burns because it's a huge chef knife and I cut deeper than normal. God, I can't even cut myself right.