He's Not Dangerous {Hayes Grier Fanfic}

-25- Thanks Mom

Hayes POV

It's the worst feeling. The absolute worst feeling someone could possibly have.I'm at my own mom's funeral right now. I was at my dad's just last year. IT's the worst feeling.

I remember when I was little, I thought my parents were superheroes. They were perfect parents, always so nice and fun, I thought they were the best people on Earth. I thought they would live forever. They're both gone now.

The funeral is held on the Saturday after she died, she died Monday. I planned it mostly, but Nash is paying for it. When I told him the news he was as messed up as me. It's at a church across the street from our apartment building. We don't go to church but there was really no where else to have it. 

I dress in a black suit, the only suit I have, with a black tie. I hate being in this apartment alone, it doesn't feel great.

As I get dressed, I notice an envelope on my dresser. Weird I hadn't noticed it all week. It has my name written on the front and I recognize my mom's scraggly handwriting. I don't want to read it now, I can't take it. I slip it in my pocket and straighten my tie.

I miss her so much it hurts, I still can't process that she's gone. I 've skipped school this past week and Amber has been consoling me too. I really appreciate her being there for me, I know it's a weird position for her. She only knew the crazy part of my mom.

Not the mom who would take Nash and I out for ice cream just because. Or the mom who would read us bedtime stories and sig us to sleep. She's gone. Dead.

Tears drip down my face as I walk across the street. Even though I feel quite selfish, I think about what I'm going to do now. I mean I still have my job but I don't know if I can hold my own for the apartment. The stash my mom and I had are almost out and all of my money was going towards our rent. 

I arrive at the church, as one of the firsts of course. The viewing of the body is taking place but I don't want to see it. Okay yes it's my own mother but would you want to see the body of your dead mother? Knowing she'll never smile at you or kiss you goodnight again?

When the real funeral starts and more people start to arrive, I finally bring myself to look at her. She's wearing her favorite red dress, a dress I remember so well. My dad and her were going to a play when I was 15 and she bought it for that. She looked so beautiful that night. Never had I ever thought she would be burried in that dress. 

The tears form in my eyes looking at her lifeless body and my lip trembles. I have no one now. Nash lives in LA and my parents are gone now. I'm an adult but I'm not ready to be alone. I'm not.

One of my tears drips onto her face and I brush it away. Her skin is surprisingly cold and I shiver. It makes me cry even harder.

I feel a hand on my back but I don't turn to see who it is. Just another adult I barely know telling me it'll be okay. No it'll never be okay. I have no one. 

"Hayes," I hear next to me. I know it's Amber but I can't peel my eyes from my mother's dead body. I can't look away even though the sight hurts my eyes. The tears continue to fall and all I want to do is join her. My mom is gone.

"Hayes," She says a little louder but I still don't look at her. I want to die. I don't want to be on this Earth anymore. No one cares for me, no one loves me. Even if my mom hadn't done anything for the past few months, I don't care. She was the only one I had.

"Hayes, look at me." Amber says forcefully and I finally pull my eyes away from her body. I turn to Amber but I can barely see her since my eyes are filled with tears.

"She's gone Amber!" I yell at her, my sadness turning to rage in a second. My father's taken from me and now my mom too? What's next?

"Hayes-"