𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨: 𝟗 | 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐬

❝ repressed memories ❞

  out of nowhere yesterday, i remembered that time my dad locked me outside in the winter and everything was blanketed in snow.

  i think i remember having a jacket on at least, but it was cold. i was crying loudly as i was doing whatever my dad wanted me to do with the bushes. it was night time too.

  the cops got called on him by the neighbor we never liked. that was the nicest thing she's ever done the whole time i lived there.

  i had it so easy compared to other kids with abusive parents. i have no right to complain about how my childhood was. it was fine. i had a bed to sleep on. i had food. i had necessities. i wasn't ever shunned.

  there's some questionable things i've never told anyone about though. at least, i don't remember telling anyone about them.

  it's gonna get really personal here. at least for me. it may not make you guys as uncomfortable as it did for me when these memories after years of being repressed suddenly emerging.

  i,,, woke up completely naked in my dad's bed. i remember being so confused cuz i had no memory of how i got there. the only thing i think i might've been wearing was socks.

  i was probably in kindergarten as that was the time we first moved into the house. jessie mustn't have been home if i slept in her bed the whole night.

  i remember finding my underwear at the end of the bed underneath the sheets. i could've kicked them off or something,,, i have no idea how that can happen though.

  there was also that time my dad and i took a bath together. i was old enough to remember this (so my bet was me probably being 3). ugh, i remember seeing all that. yeck. disgusting. i have no memory of what happened besides us sitting in the bath together.

  how was that okay?

  was it even okay? maybe i was young enough that that wouldn't be weird,,, i guess i just hate that fact that i remember it.

  this was a weird chapter, but i felt like getting some things off my chest.