"Between the pages"//Fillie

Chapter 23.- "Tic-tac..."

4 hours

4 hours is all they had before the surgery started.

240 minutes ...

14,400 seconds ...

Mathematics is infinite, so exact, so sure ... but so cruel in most cases. The math said that Finn's odds were nil and now that Finn was back in his room with his father holding his right hand and Millie holding his left hand, mathematics said that 4 hours could be all the time they had left with him.

What can you say at a time like this?

The words were unnecessary, the tears were over, Eric prayed, he asked heaven with all his heart for a miracle to happen, his beliefs were something ... diverse, in the Wolfhard family they were half Jewish and half Catholic, a strange combination, but Mary and Eric were always believers, including Finn studied in a Catholic school the first years of his life, his faith is the only thing that accompanied him and gave him strength after the death of his wife and now that it was the only thing keeping him afloat as the light of his only son died out before his eyes.

Millie, on the other hand, had only leaned next to him, whispering words of encouragement, of love, she was determined to make his mind and heart understand how much they needed him, how much he needed to fight to stay in this world.

The lack of time was so frustrating, the damn tic-tac of the clock that did not stop, there was not even time or authorization for the guys to visit him, they were devastated when Millie gave them the news, none could assimilate that they would possibly never see their friend again, they could not even clearly remember the last time they saw him or that it was the last thing they said to him ... but that is what happens when we do not live our days as if they were the last.

We never know when it will be, the last talk, the last hug, the last kiss, when it will be the last time we see the person we love.

The worst of the last times is that we never know that is the last time.

"You know ... I never thought I would have to go through a similar situation again". Eric said breaking the silence.

"Losing Mary was the worst thing that ever happened to me, I never thought that history would repeat itself and that I would lose the only person we both loved more than anything in this world". Eric paused a bit to remove his glasses and wipe away his tears.

"I recovered from Mary's death because I had a reason to live, Finn was my driving force, helping him to overcome his mother's death, trying to make him a happy boy, all that helped me get up in the morning, it were very difficult times dark for my son, his physical and emotional health declined considerably, we tried with many therapists and in the end it worked, he improved, but deep down I have always felt that there is a part of that past that he never shared with me or with his therapists, something that caused the death of his mother was even tougher for him, I guess in a way I always felt, I don't know ... insufficient".

Millie knew the answer to Eric's doubts, the answer was ... Finn felt guilty.

Finn had opened his heart to Millie by telling her what happened in the last days of his mother's life, he told her about the guilt he felt in his heart.

She could still remember his words and the way he cried in her lap that night as he entrusted to her the pain that accompanied him every second of the day.

"I was furious, I felt that she wanted to surrender, I was angry because she didn't want to fight anymore and... when it was time for my visit she was asleep and I looked at the marker right in the usual place but I was upset ... I decided that I would not write the name of the song in her hand, at that moment I believed that when she woke up and did not see anything written, she would know that I was upset and later I could... I don't know maybe I could make her feel guilty, I could make her reconsider!".